Senile Sleepover by Steven Sallie - Short, Comedy - A married couple struggles to keep their sanity while the wife's parents are visiting.  10 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Fixed.  Clearly again missed the big, red, 'upload' button.

- Don

Hi Steven,

I just read your script. It’s a good subject to explore, right up my alley and that’s why I picked it up for a read.
The script def has potential imo.

I’m thinking you could cut a lot of the dialogue as most of it seems to be a repetition. I’m also thinking your characters could be more proactive and do something. Right now it’s more about talking and blaming each other for this and that. Also, the kids-parents relationships could use better set up and better resolution. Right now I don’t know the intention behind Doug-Bryant talks.

Good luck with a rewrite if you’re planning to rewrite the script.