Changes: Episode 3 - Loveline by Steve  - Short, Comedy - John, forlorn and 40-something, has recently divorced and moved from the burbs into an inner-city block of 4 where he befriends his 20 and 30 year old neighbours (Max and Kate), youthful folly and the wisdom of age collide as our odd-ball, inter-generational trio navigate the curiosities of modern life. 30 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Neglected to mention this when I posted the above script but would be happy to do a script review swap with another sitcom script if anyone is interested? Let me know,

I read it and liked it. Is this a first draft? I'm getting the impression this is a show where each episode is self contained rather than serialized.

I feel like the episode would have been stronger if the older guy was more invested in dating personally rather than being roped in by his friends so it's more devastating when it goes wrong later. I liked the scene where they're talking about the dating site and setting up a profile but it seemed much slower paced then the rest of the script.

The two parts I really liked were the older guy bonding with Daria over the IBS, but I feel like it should have been something stronger than max being weird that was the straw that broke the camels back with her. I really liked that scene but if you can think of some funny ways to pour salt into the wound even more thatd be the icing on the cake.

I liked the subplot with Kate testing out her date psychologically. That was really funny. I did feel like Max's subplot about getting in with the fashion people wasnt strong enough and didnt go anywhere, even though it tied in nicely with the dating plot.

All in all, i liked it. I'd seek as much advice from as many different sources as possible to help you grow it as theres lots of potential.

Thanks Seb, yes they're definitely rewind and start again each ep rather than a narrative arc although there is a slow burn chemistry between Kate and John. Thanks for the criticism definitely take a couple of those points on board, hopefully get a good look at yours over weekend. Cheers Steve