Death Was Afraid of Him by Jim Duncanson and Dave Bonner - Short, Drama - A fallen soldier on the battlefield takes us on a journey through his eyes as he lies dying. 7 pages

contest: First Place Short Winner 2015 Hollywood Hills Screenplay Competition - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

I really liked this little story, although (oddly) I think it works better on screen than on the page. Ronnie's death is meant to be the big reveal, and on screen it would be! But the script reader can "see" that the first line of dialog is that of a "soldier." On the screen that would be unknown and helpfully ambiguous. Then a story that might at first seem like a rumination of PTSD becomes something a whole lot different at the climax. Your logline gives away the ending as well. But again, I think this was great! Spot-on dialog, taut description. It was worthy of the honor it received from the Hollywood Hills Competition.

Hi Guys,

Just to let you know that our short screenplay competition winner, Death Was Afraid of Him, that we posted on your unproduced scripts has been optioned and goes into production next year. Thanks, guys.

Jim Duncanson

Kudos

Congrats, Dudes! That's awesome. ;D

Well done!

Where can I read this?

DB, scripts are often removed at the request of the Producer when they go into production.

Quoted from LC DB, scripts are often removed at the request of the Producer when they go into production.

Awww, I really wanted to read it. Good luck to them!

Congrats!