An Unexpected Party - Optioned

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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Short Comedy Scripts / An Unexpected Party - Optioned

Posted by: Don, December 11th, 2019, 3:59pm

An Unexpected Party by William David Glenn IV - Short, Comedy - A low level businessman just wants to relax after a hard week of work, but is interrupted by his rowdy neighbors who take over his apartment and force him to plot to end the party and his nightmare. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: JohnMcCarthy, December 16th, 2019, 2:22pm; Reply: 1

I don't think you need the CUT TO: or JUMP CUT TO: and I think you meant to say the the coffee table "wobbled" instead of "waddled" but other than that, I liked it. A lot! Chuckled throughout and laughed out loud at the Chef in full chef's regalia!

Posted by: MarkRenshaw, January 10th, 2020, 6:51am; Reply: 2

Nicely written, the ultimate party from hell out of nothing. I liked the nth degree stuff like the chef appearing, I think you could juice up the humor by adding a few more crazy elements like this in.

The ending is okay, but I'd try and tie in the ending to that film as well he was trying so hard to avoid. If that was indavertantly spoiled as well, that would be the icing on the (prawn) cake.

Posted by: Don, January 11th, 2020, 10:00am; Reply: 3

Optioned via SimplyScripts

Posted by: eldave1, January 11th, 2020, 11:35am; Reply: 4

Excellent - congrats!

Posted by: AnthonyCawood, January 11th, 2020, 12:46pm; Reply: 5

Well done, congrats!

Posted by: MarkRenshaw, January 14th, 2020, 3:02am; Reply: 6

Nice one, congratulations!

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