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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Horror Scripts  /  Late Night Bite
Posted by: Don, February 6th, 2020, 11:32am
Late Night Bite by AJ - Horror, Comedy - {no logline} 67 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice :)
Posted by: Arundel, February 8th, 2020, 10:42pm; Reply: 1
I liked this title and without a logline I was expecting a Blood Diner/Little Shop of Horrors type script based on genres. Unfortunately didn't do much to keep me interested after the first few pages. I read through it but did lots of skimming, to be honest.  
Posted by: eldave1, February 9th, 2020, 12:02pm; Reply: 2
AJ:

Okay - you really want to include a logline here.

AND

I stopped reading here:


Quoted Text
FADE IN:

EXT. City. Night.


Not trying to be rude - but when folks start with an error first, line - first page - I generally parachute. It tells me if they don't care - why should I.

This should be:

FADE IN:

EXT.  CITY - NIGHT

Do some research on scene headings - all you got to do is Google, mate. If you have a hard time finding information - hut me up.

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