SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Short Drama Scripts / Unexpected
Posted by: Don, February 6th, 2020, 5:17pm
Unexpected by Zay Rodriguez - Short, Drama - A Latin woman is left abandoned in her relationship. She later goes on and befriends an attractive roommate who she later realizes is not so perfect after all. 34 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
Posted by: eldave1, February 6th, 2020, 8:34pm; Reply: 1
Quoted Text
FADE IN
ON A DOOR OPENING.
Exits ERIC LOPEZ, a young Latin man, no more than twenty five years old, dragging a luggage bag. A unhappy face.
Zay - we got a problem. You have no scene header. Where are we????
Latino - not Latin.
No more than twenty five years old is pretty inefficient. Just go with ERIC LOPEZ (25).
Posted by: S.J., January 6th, 2021, 12:57am; Reply: 2
Agree with eldave1's comment. And, I got lost in the camera directions. Can you tell us the story without the camera moves? I'm still going to read this through its entirety because I sense something fresh is to be found inside.