SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Short Horror / A Fountain of Regret
Posted by: Don, February 7th, 2020, 4:39pm
A Fountain of Regret by Aaron - Short, Horror - A young man is haunted by the spirit of his younger brother after a deadly car crash. 15 pages - pdf format
New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice :)
Posted by: evapel, April 15th, 2023, 7:49am; Reply: 1
Hi Aaron, Just read your intriguing screen play. I am new on this board so am not sure if I am doing this correctly. I liked how you used the cat to cast doubt on the ghost and how you used the friend to show us some back story without making it feel contrived. I know this is not exactly what your story was about, but I would have liked to see a little more of the relationship between the brothers so justify the ending. Then it wouldn't be just about how Andrew died, but also about how they got along when Andrew was alive. You have a little of that, but I would love some more. The ending was surprising to me. You did a great job leading up to it. This was posted a few years ago, so you might well have worked more on it since. Good job, Aaron.
Hi Aaron, Just read your intriguing screen play. I am new on this board so am not sure if I am doing this correctly. ... This was posted a few years ago, so you might well have worked more on it since. Good job, Aaron.
Welcome to SS! Yes, you are submitting a review correctly. And true, you might have a little more luck with a response on a newer script, but then again you never know.