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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Drama Scripts  /  Piss Bottle
Posted by: Don, February 21st, 2020, 5:52pm
Piss Bottle by Arian Selimi - Short, Drama -  Minire is a young woman who gets herself in debt in order to live a little more as a free woman. 11 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: AndyJ, February 22nd, 2020, 10:36am; Reply: 1
Did you delete a page?

"EXT. CITY - NIGHT

Minire is sitting on some benches. She searches on Google: "How to be rich fast". Suddenly a woman approaches her, standing very close. She is dressed like she just came out of a fashion show.

WOMAN
Good evening. I'm from the best clinic ever and I want to talk to you about some new products we are selling. Were making some new pregnancy and fertility tests and were looking for people to test them.

MINIRE
Eliza...Its almost two in the morning.

ELIZA
I got promoted today!

MINIRE
No way! How?

Eliza sits on the other side of the table."

Why would a strange woman approach Minire to tell her about fertility testing? Didn't make sense. Then Minire is talking to Eliza, who is Eliza and where did the table come from?

I gave up after that.
Posted by: DustinBowcot (Guest), February 23rd, 2020, 3:57am; Reply: 2

Code

EXT. CITY - NIGHT

Minire is sitting on some benches. 



She must be a very large lady.
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