Power Struggle! by Hank Biro - Short, Action, Sci fi - A police officer who thirsts for power is granted the rare opportunity to use his full force to arrest a group of drug dealers. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Last November, I attended a networking event for my local film festival. A producer and a director team whose film was accepted into the festival approached me and we discussed our projects. The producer asked me to send him some of my work, and he is now working on producing this short script! He is currently trying to secure funding for the project, and told me that once we know our budget some of the fight choreography might have to be toned down.

Hank

What a bizarre 8 pages, and not necessarily in a good way. Like futuristic, fascistic wrestling on speed!

I liked the vivid way you describe the drug ingestion. It was both horrifying, exhilarating and very distinctive.

There is a hint of a greater authoritarian futuristic world which I appreciate can not be really developed within such a short script, hence, it remains unclear. As a result, I wonder is it really necessary? Are these bionically enhanced, cybernetic people who can withstand an abnormal amount of physical pain or what? Seems like it.

The dialogue is comically bad, like 1960s Batman bad. I assume its tongue in cheek, I hope it is anyway. It worries me that this is in the action/adventure thread as its more absurdly comic than anything else.

Other than that, not much to it. Cop wants to kick ass...so Cop kicks ass in an extended, over the top, super violent fight scene. The end.

Col.