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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Action/Adventure Scripts  /  American Ninjas
Posted by: Don, March 29th, 2020, 1:32pm
American Ninjas: Wanted Dead or Alive: The semi-tru story of how my best friend and I tried to kill the world's most notorious drug lord for $25 million by Jason Benoit - Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, War - A dying father and an ex-Pat with nothing to live for team up in an attempt to claim a $25 million FBI bounty by trying to capture the world's most notorious drug lord.  121 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: Lono, April 18th, 2020, 7:05am; Reply: 1
read up to page 10. The title needs work IMO, but then again, a movie called Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri was a masterpiece so, take it with a grain of salt.  The screenplay is great so far, really great writing.  I think some people may pass on opening up the script because of the  title which is a mistake i think. I will continue to read, you're a talented writer.
Posted by: rattle221, April 20th, 2020, 11:04am; Reply: 2
Thx... yeah title may be doing the opposite of my intention.
Posted by: eldave1, April 20th, 2020, 11:54am; Reply: 3
Doing some brief fly bys of scripts as I'm having the morning coffee. Took in the first 20 of this.

A) Writing is stellar!
B) Dialogue very solid.
C) Title - not good at all

My only gripe is the first Carla - Mitch scene. I've seen this a thousand times in movies right down to the nature of the dialogue. Look for something new/creative here.

Really solid writing though.
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