Father I Committed Adultry by John Stewart - Short, Comedy - A young Irish catholic lad didn't know how to tell Father Murphy that he spread his seeds by the wayside. 19 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice :)

Hey, John: Some promising stuff here - but you start out a bit clumsy - going to give you edits on page 1.

Quoted Text FATHER I COMMITTED ADULTERY FADE IN EXT.BOGSIDE AREA-N.IRELAND-1940-NIGHT Smoke billows from the chimneys of the rows of whitewashed ramshackle houses in the Catholic slums of Derry. An extravagant stately Cathedral centrally located lords over the subservient and deeply religious congregation CUT TO: FADE IN

Lose the title on the first page - that's what the title page is for.

FADE IN - should be FADE IN:

Your first header is a bit of a mess and you don't put the year in the header. I would go with a SUPER - something like:

EXT. SMALL IRISH TOWN - NIGHT

Smoke billows from the chimneys of the rows of whitewashed
ramshackle houses in the Catholic slums of Derry.

SUPER: Biogside area, Northern Ireland, 1940

An extravagant stately Cathedral centrally located lords
over the subservient and deeply religious congregation

And this:

Quoted Text An extravagant stately Cathedral centrally located lords over the subservient and deeply religious congregation

An extravagant stately Cathedral centrally located lords
over the subservient and deeply religious congregation

Is a bit clumsy and has several typos. Need a comma after extravagant and a period after congregation,  Also, since congregation = people - is this an interior or exterior shot. I got confused.

Delete these:

Quoted Text CUT TO: FADE IN

Not needed.

Quoted Text EXT. POOR AREA-MORNING

Space needed between EXT. and POOR. Also spaces needed between the -

Quoted Text ZOOMING IN TOWARDS ONE OF THE DILAPIDATED HOUSES

Lose the above - not needed and confusing.

Quoted Text INT. HOUSE - BEDROOM-MORNING Two single beds are cramped together; one recently deserted with sheets and blankets ruffled over. A pair of bed bugs are seen disappearing under a sheet.

Same typo issue in this header as in the above one.

Bedbugs???? A little tough to spot something that tiny - maybe cockroaches. Also, write it active.

A pair of bedbugs disappear...

Quoted Text The 16 years old fair haired PADDY SNORES in the other bed against the wall. He squirms in his sleep and scratches himself.He is not quite six feet tall.

Really not worded and confusing Is his name PADDY SNORES??  or is his name PADDY and he is snoring?  Try:

PADDY (16), tall, snores in the ed against the wall.

Quoted Text A fly parade upside down on the low ceiling, others desperately struggle in vain to extricate themselves from several sticky fly catchers hanging from the ceiling.

A fly parades

Okay - the point being is that you are stumbling out of the block and peeps are going to get out of the read early when there are these type of problems.

i.e., give it another look through and make it crisp and clean.