Quoted from BrianK
I am new to this so keep that in mind.
First, I enjoyed your script. The pacing was fast and there were many moments I was on the edge of my seat. Callie's dialogue was excellent. She really came across as that tough as nails character who had to survive on the streets. I envy the way you did that.
The mood and atmosphere created by making everything dark gave a real sense of dread. A lot of jump scares made reading fun.
The spiders were interesting. The baby spiders taking apart bodies added to the scariness.
Rick's back story about his illness was a nice reveal and added depth to his character. Debbie's acts as expected, protective of her family and brave when she needs to be.
The character of Del I liked. The loony character explaining his conspiracy theories add to the tension and the fun. You never know if what he says is true or not.
All the characters have distinct voices. The differences in culture between Rick and his family, Callie and her friends, and the locals make the reader root for them. You want to see them set aside their differences and unite to defeat the common foe.
On the downside, I thought Josh's zingers seemed out of place at times. It distracted from tense situations.
My main issue with the script was the logic. The aliens go to earth to retrieve one of their own who the government has kidnapped. So why go to some remote town and kill a bunch of people? They end up swapping hostages, so why not do that to begin with?
Also I also don't understand their fascination with Callie. This is never really explained.
All in all I enjoyed the script. I hope this was helpful.
Quoted from AnthonyCawood