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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  May, 2020 Challenge  /  Who Wrote What and Writer's Choice - May 2020
Posted by: Don, May 23rd, 2020, 11:41am
Notable Stuff

1st time all writers scored, 1st time no writer voted their own script, 1st time I read all the scripts before I posted them.

There will be three mugs awarded (for the writing excercise that has no prizes):

Writer's Choices: Gary Howell and L. Chambers
     (statistically very close, with Gary slightly higher score and a slightly lower standard deviation)
    
"Director's Choice*": Michael Kospiah
     *Second time in an OWC that an actual, IMdb director has reached out to me for the name of the author of an OWC script.

Special commendation (pat on the back):
Lowest Standard Deviation**: David C Lambertson - The Five Stages of Grief
     **Of scripts with scores higher than 3, most people felt the same way about it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Writer's Choice

3.82 - I'll Be Seeing You by Gary Howell (Gary Howell) writing as Jimmy Durante - Short, Drama - A man vows to bring his wife home from a nursing home in the midst of a deadly pandemic. 5 pages

3.81 - Short Fuse by L. Chambers (LC) writing as Pandemically Motivated - Short, Dramedy - A young man believing himself to be on the brink of greatness has his dreams crushed when Covid-19 strikes. 6 pages

The Rest

3.75 - The Five Stages of Grief by David C Lambertson (eldave1) writing as Jane, dystroyer of dreams - Short, Comedy - A suburban family goes through the five stages of grief during the pandemic.

3.47 - Virus-99 by Rob Herzog (Rob) writing as Magic Marker Eyes - Short, Horror - The quarantine for a deadly virus is over, but the trouble has just started for a man keeping his bizarre family on permanent lockdown.  6 pages

3.41 - 57 percent Up by Bill Sarre (Reef Dreamer) writing as The Mad Clapper - Short, Drama - Stuck at home because of Covid-19, a Blitz surviving pensioner makes the most of his nursing visits. 6 pages

3.4 - Potato Radio by Paul Knauer (PKCardinal) writing as Mr. Potato Head - Short, Comedy, Light Comedy - Isolated and bored, a man fashions a homemade transmitter that leads to an unexpected connection. 6 pages

3.29 - The Essentials by Michael J Kospiah (spesh2k) writing as Masked Taxi Driver - Short, Drama, Crime - Currently out of work due to the city-wide lockdown, Cameron, struggling to support his family, decides to knock off a local corner grocery. 6 pages

3.13 - I Scream, You Scream... by Anthony J Russo (ajr) writing as Holden Afart - Short, Drama, Sci Fi - A man encounters turns of fate during an excursion into a virus-ravaged world. 6 pages

3.07 - A Typical Date by Chris Behn (Bayne) writing as Anonymous - Short, Drama - In a post-pandemic world where human touch is prohibited, two people attempt to pursue a romantic connection.

3 - Infectious Personality Disorder by David C Lambertson (eldave1) writing as Beth's free hand - Short, Drama - A global pandemic provides the perfect time for the perfect crime. 6 pages

3 - Lockdown by PH Cook (Grandma Bear) writing as Pedro - Short, Drama - During a pandemic lockdown, a newly wed couple are tested to the brink of insanity. 4 pages

The rest in no particular order

We Are Still Here by Mark Renshaw (markrenshaw) writing as Agnes of Beans - Short, Family - A grandmother suffering from Alzheimer's stays connected to her family during lockdown thanks to technology and a bit of ingenuity. 5 pages

OK Boomer by Niall Byrne (Niall) writing as Carmel - Short, Drama - Amid lockdown, an unlikely couple are forced to endure each other’s company. 6 pages

Covert-19 by Anthony J Russo (ajr) writing as Detective Bluto Mindpretzel - Short, Horror, Drama - A powerful man attempts to save his organization from a killer virus.

Our Own Good by John Staats (JEStaats) writing as A Man in Black - Short, Drama - A woman has second thoughts about the CORVID-19 vaccine. Some thoughts should be kept to yourself.

This Is How They'll Find Me by Paul Knauer (PKCardinal) writing as It'sreallyonlytwosmalljokes - Short, Comedy - A lone bright spot amidst another boring day. 2 pages

Holly's Folly by Joe Garza (SPQR) writing as John Dillinger - Short, Drama, Crime - A professional party planner's plan to turn a negative into a positive backfires. 4 pages

Justice by Pedro (PedroS) writing as ThE StOryTelleR - Short, Drama, Crime - Two LAPD Officers caught during a virus epidemic in a vital decision between law and ethics. 6 pages

Petition by Khamanna Iskandarova (khamanna) writing as Covid Himself - Short, Drama - A woman tries to help her neighbor with groceries during Covid times. 5 pages

We'll Make It Through by Mark Dykshoorn (MarkD) writing as TheCasualScreenwriter - Short, Drama - A husband and wife deal with the effects of the pandemic as they go through a day at home. 4 pages

  

Posted by: khamanna, May 23rd, 2020, 12:13pm; Reply: 1
Lol Don, you graphed them to check out the deviation! Wow!
But thanks for a great distraction from all that sitting and eating!

Gary, Libby, congrats on writers choice!

And everyone else - this contest felt like having tea with your family)
Posted by: ajr, May 23rd, 2020, 12:16pm; Reply: 2
Congrats to Garry, Libby, Michael and Dave!

This was a fun contest. I enjoyed reading all the entries.

AJR
Posted by: MarkRenshaw, May 23rd, 2020, 12:18pm; Reply: 3
Well done Gary and all the rest. I'm so glad my favs were in the top and I enjoyed reading all of these.
Posted by: spesh2k, May 23rd, 2020, 12:21pm; Reply: 4
Great job, everyone! A lot of talent on display, here. The quality was surprising considering the tight time frame, was really impressed!

As nice and surprising as it was to be contacted by a director for "The Essentials" (was it really that obvious that I wrote it???), what I'm really over the moon about is that fucking mug. I've wanted one of those for YEEEEEARRRS.

I'm actually doing a Youtube show on Monday -- they interviewed some of my favorite horror directors (Ted Geoghegan of "We Are Still Here" & "Mohawk", Jen Wexler of "The Ranger"), so I'm kinda stoked to be included. BUT... I'm thinking of pushing it back a week so I can feature my new mug in the zoom interview. If anything, I'll find a way to product place it somehow eventually.

Congrats to everyone involved and a big congrats to Dave, Libby and Gary for their excellent work!

-- Michael
Posted by: eldave1, May 23rd, 2020, 12:21pm; Reply: 5
Congrats to Garry, Libby snd, Michael. All really solid scripts. Noice!!

Jeff - you can keep your left testicle. My guess on Michael was correct :)

Don - thanks a million - a real fun OWC.
Posted by: Grandma Bear, May 23rd, 2020, 12:42pm; Reply: 6
Congrats Gary and Libby! I had you down for 5 stages and Infectious.

Congrats to Dave and Michael!  8)


Quoted from spesh2k
"The Essentials" (was it really that obvious that I wrote it???

You're the only one that I ever hear calling a neighborhood store a bodega, lol!

Sorry Bill for my comment on the guessing yesterday. I didn't want to get any ideas in people's head I wrote Lockdown.  :)

Posted by: Gary in Houston, May 23rd, 2020, 12:54pm; Reply: 7
Wow  I mean, I’m gobsmacked.  My first mug!  Congrats to Libby and Michael as well for some excellent scripts and to everyone just for entering and getting something in!  This was an impressive set of scripts and a great challenge that Don put together.

Thanks to everyone for the comments and suggestions. I need to give it a small rewrite and I will definitely use the comments to help guide me.

Thanks Don for all your efforts on this!!  Great work!!

Gary
Posted by: khamanna, May 23rd, 2020, 1:05pm; Reply: 8

Quoted from Grandma Bear
didn't want to get any ideas in people's head I wrote Lockdown.  :)



You got me fooled for sure.
Posted by: spesh2k, May 23rd, 2020, 1:11pm; Reply: 9

Quoted Text
You're the only one that I ever hear calling a neighborhood store a bodega, lol!


Fuck!

-- Michael
Posted by: Reef Dreamer, May 23rd, 2020, 1:50pm; Reply: 10

Quoted from Grandma Bear
Congrats Gary and Libby! I had you down for 5 stages and Infectious.

Congrats to Dave and Michael!  8)


You're the only one that I ever hear calling a neighborhood store a bodega, lol!

Sorry Bill for my comment on the guessing yesterday. I didn't want to get any ideas in people's head I wrote Lockdown.  :)



Nailed it  ;D

Posted by: ghost and_ghostie gal, May 23rd, 2020, 2:35pm; Reply: 11
"Don't Mess with Texas"

Congratulations Gary!  :)

You too - Libby.  I just knew it.  Woohoo!  ;)

Shout outs to Michael, and Dave, congrats to them and everyone else.
Posted by: JEStaats, May 23rd, 2020, 4:21pm; Reply: 12
Huge congrats to Gary, Libby and Michael! Not just the wins/success stories, but look at the caliber of entrants (mine excluded, dammit!). You earned your mugs!

And what about me calling out Dave for BOTH his entries, hey? Nailed it!

EDIT: Just checked and I never did go back to put Dave's name on those two guesses. Curses.
Posted by: Reef Dreamer, May 23rd, 2020, 4:27pm; Reply: 13
Well done Libby and Gary - great work.

And Dave, excellent effort - two scripts. I tried, but never could get a second idea.

Thanks Don - really well organised. It’s been great.

Shout out to Niall - good concept and good reviews.
Posted by: Mr.Ripley, May 23rd, 2020, 4:28pm; Reply: 14
Congrats to all. I already see one script may have been picked up. Hopefully that trickles down to the other scripts.

Gabe
Posted by: LC, May 23rd, 2020, 6:46pm; Reply: 15
Wow!! Waking up to this and I'm absolutely stoked. Finally, a mug, yay!  :D

Gary, I bet you're over the moon you decided to put pen to paper again. On ya, mate! Congrats to you & to Michael!  Michael, you fooled me with your not exactly horror entry.

And to Dave, a class script as usual. Thanks for the laughs.

I'm very happy I fooled quite a few of you...Except Andrea, who it appears, is a bit of a smarty pants.  ;)
Posted by: eldave1, May 23rd, 2020, 7:33pm; Reply: 16

Quoted from LC
Wow!! Waking up to this and I'm absolutely stoked. Finally, a mug, yay!  :D

Gary, I bet you're over the moon you decided to put pen to paper again. On ya, mate! Congrats to you & to Michael!  Michael, you fooled me with your not exactly horror entry.

And to Dave, a class script as usual. Thanks for the laughs.

I'm very happy I fooled quite a few of you...Except Andrea, who it appears, is a bit of a smarty pants.  ;)


Libby - Happy for you (and Gary of course) - very solid writing. Between you and Waren's results last year, I think the Aussie per capita Mug taking may be near the top.
Posted by: PKCardinal, May 23rd, 2020, 7:47pm; Reply: 17
Congrats to Gary, LC, Michael and Dave.

Really, congrats to everyone. Great group of scripts.

To all new first time mug winners...

New guy/gal brings the snacks to the next "Order of the Cat's Head" meeting. If you don't yet know what that means, you soon will. (Yes, I know, Don calls it the Order of the Crappy Mug... but, that's for the general public. You're an insider now.)

I'm hosting. I like donuts. So, go ahead and send a dozen of your area's finest to my house. I'll keep 'em fresh and safe. Dave likes eclairs. Send those, too.

We would have you arrange for the entertainment, too. But, ever since Warren won a mug, he chooses the music. Hope everybody likes Men At Work.

We'll send you the password. Or, you could do like Jeff. He shows up every time. When we ask for the password, he always says the same thing. Starts with an F. Ends with a U. Don't know why he thinks the password never changes... but, we let him in. No idea if he's won a mug, but we're all too scared to ask.

That's about it, really. There is a secret handshake... just watch any Three Stooges film. You'll pick it up quick.

PK
Posted by: eldave1, May 23rd, 2020, 8:15pm; Reply: 18

Quoted from PKCardinal
Congrats to Gary, LC, Michael and Dave.

Really, congrats to everyone. Great group of scripts.

To all new first time mug winners...

New guy/gal brings the snacks to the next "Order of the Cat's Head" meeting. If you don't yet know what that means, you soon will. (Yes, I know, Don calls it the Order of the Crappy Mug... but, that's for the general public. You're an insider now.)

I'm hosting. I like donuts. So, go ahead and send a dozen of your area's finest to my house. I'll keep 'em fresh and safe. Dave likes eclairs. Send those, too.

We would have you arrange for the entertainment, too. But, ever since Warren won a mug, he chooses the music. Hope everybody likes Men At Work.

We'll send you the password. Or, you could do like Jeff. He shows up every time. When we ask for the password, he always says the same thing. Starts with an F. Ends with a U. Don't know why he thinks the password never changes... but, we let him in. No idea if he's won a mug, but we're all too scared to ask.

That's about it, really. There is a secret handshake... just watch any Three Stooges film. You'll pick it up quick.

PK


Priceless:)
Posted by: LC, May 23rd, 2020, 8:25pm; Reply: 19

Quoted from PKCardinal
Congrats to Gary, LC, Michael and Dave.

Really, congrats to everyone. Great group of scripts.

To all new first time mug winners...

New guy/gal brings the snacks to the next "Order of the Cat's Head" meeting. If you don't yet know what that means, you soon will. (Yes, I know, Don calls it the Order of the Crappy Mug... but, that's for the general public. You're an insider now.)

I'm hosting. I like donuts. So, go ahead and send a dozen of your area's finest to my house. I'll keep 'em fresh and safe. Dave likes eclairs. Send those, too.

We would have you arrange for the entertainment, too. But, ever since Warren won a mug, he chooses the music. Hope everybody likes Men At Work.

We'll send you the password. Or, you could do like Jeff. He shows up every time. When we ask for the password, he always says the same thing. Starts with an F. Ends with a U. Don't know why he thinks the password never changes... but, we let him in. No idea if he's won a mug, but we're all too scared to ask.

That's about it, really. There is a secret handshake... just watch any Three Stooges film. You'll pick it up quick.

PK


Laughing at this  ;D, not least cause of Warren's musical choice. What!

I've just noticed lately cats seem to feature big-time with Don.

And Dave, you might be right... I think Stevie's a member of the club too. :)

P.S. Did everyone see the headline about another OWC?
Posted by: khamanna, May 23rd, 2020, 9:17pm; Reply: 20

Quoted from PKCardinal
Congrats to Gary, LC, Michael and Dave.

Really, congrats to everyone. Great group of scripts.

To all new first time mug winners...

New guy/gal brings the snacks to the next "Order of the Cat's Head" meeting. If you don't yet know what that means, you soon will. (Yes, I know, Don calls it the Order of the Crappy Mug... but, that's for the general public. You're an insider now.)

I'm hosting. I like donuts. So, go ahead and send a dozen of your area's finest to my house. I'll keep 'em fresh and safe. Dave likes eclairs. Send those, too.

We would have you arrange for the entertainment, too. But, ever since Warren won a mug, he chooses the music. Hope everybody likes Men At Work.

We'll send you the password. Or, you could do like Jeff. He shows up every time. When we ask for the password, he always says the same thing. Starts with an F. Ends with a U. Don't know why he thinks the password never changes... but, we let him in. No idea if he's won a mug, but we're all too scared to ask.

That's about it, really. There is a secret handshake... just watch any Three Stooges film. You'll pick it up quick.

PK


Lololol lollipops
Posted by: khamanna, May 23rd, 2020, 11:10pm; Reply: 21

Quoted from LC



P.S. Did everyone see the headline about another OWC?


Isn't Paul saying he's hosting it?
Posted by: LC, May 23rd, 2020, 11:39pm; Reply: 22
Well, I'm glad you saw it too, Kham, otherwise I was thinking I'm seeing things.  ::)  :D
Posted by: Fais85, May 24th, 2020, 1:15am; Reply: 23
Congratulations to everyone.

Great scripts as always. "Five Stages of Grief", "Short Fuse", "Virus-99", "I Scream, You Scream", and "This is how They'll Find Me" were my favorite.


Quoted from spesh2k
was it really that obvious that I wrote it???


Your characters made it obvious. :P Congrats on one more script getting produced.

Posted by: spesh2k, May 24th, 2020, 12:28pm; Reply: 24

Quoted Text
Your characters made it obvious.  Congrats on one more script getting produced.

And here I thought it was because I had a distinctive voice lol.

Not sure if it's getting produced, though. I contacted the filmmaker, just introducing myself, but never got a response back, though it's only been two days. If I had a nickel for every time I got an email inquiring about a script and never got a follow-up response back after that, I'd have close to a dollar. The email may have gotten lost in their spam folder, who knows.

So, technically, it's still available to any producers and filmmakers who are interested.

-- Michael
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), May 24th, 2020, 1:25pm; Reply: 25
How do I attach a jpeg picture?

I know...I'm dumb, but I just can't seem to make it work.
Posted by: Gary in Houston, May 24th, 2020, 2:10pm; Reply: 26
Jeff, just type:
[img]putlinktoimagehere[/img]

so I copied the link to the picture for Paul's short film and placed it here doing that:


Posted by: Don, May 24th, 2020, 2:19pm; Reply: 27

Quoted from Dreamscale
How do I attach a jpeg picture?

I know...I'm dumb, but I just can't seem to make it work.


Jeff,

You can't upload a picture to the discussion board.  If it is hosted elsewhere, you can link to it by putting the url between [img] link [/img]

If you don't have a host, email it to me at webmaster @ simplyscripts.com and I'll host it

Don
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), May 24th, 2020, 3:27pm; Reply: 28
Thanks, Don.  E-Mail sent.
Posted by: Arundel, May 24th, 2020, 4:08pm; Reply: 29
Here's a question. Did writers submit scripts that echoed their own experiences? I know I did.

The Midday Sun: Single male goes out with his cellphone. I could have easily done that. I even described my immediate neighborhood.

There were stories revolving around married couples, visiting old folks homes, keeping in touch with family from a distance. Were these written by those who were in or experienced those situations?
Posted by: spesh2k, May 24th, 2020, 4:32pm; Reply: 30

Quoted Text
Here's a question. Did writers submit scripts that echoed their own experiences? I know I did.

The Midday Sun: Single male goes out with his cellphone. I could have easily done that. I even described my immediate neighborhood.

There were stories revolving around married couples, visiting old folks homes, keeping in touch with family from a distance. Were these written by those who were in or experienced those situations?


Hope you didn't run into some hooded cult members trying to kill you... that would suck!

I didn't rob a bodega and I didn't witness any stick-ups, but I do live above a bodega in a not-so-great neighborhood in the South Bronx. Felt a little uneasy going in there late at night with a bunch of dudes wearing masks and gloves. Though I'm not sure if it was a prerequisite that the stories had to pulled from real life experiences...

-- Michael
Posted by: Geezis, May 24th, 2020, 5:35pm; Reply: 31
Congratulations to every one who entered. I didn’t find the time to write anything unfortunately but next time I will.
Well done the winners, mucho kudos to you.
Posted by: MarkRenshaw, May 24th, 2020, 6:18pm; Reply: 32

Quoted from Arundel
Here's a question. Did writers submit scripts that echoed their own experiences? I know I did.

The Midday Sun: Single male goes out with his cellphone. I could have easily done that. I even described my immediate neighborhood.

There were stories revolving around married couples, visiting old folks homes, keeping in touch with family from a distance. Were these written by those who were in or experienced those situations?


I put my own personal experiences in 'We Are Still Here' to give the dialogue some authenticity and said a few things I'd love to say to my mother if she were still alive. I've detailed it more on the thread for the script.
Posted by: Grandma Bear, May 24th, 2020, 6:32pm; Reply: 33

Quoted from Arundel
Here's a question. Did writers submit scripts that echoed their own experiences? I know I did.

Absolutely not. My idea came out of some memes that were joking about being stuck inside with your spouse combined with my own worries about kids being stuck in some crappy apartment somewhere with parents that are not stable or addicts and such.
Posted by: ajr, May 24th, 2020, 6:46pm; Reply: 34
I think we all draw on our own experiences as a starting point. We need to relate emotionally to the piece in order to convey whatever message we're trying to get across.

I tend to start with themes, things that I want to say, and then I use the plot and the characters and dialogue to serve that theme.

AJR
Posted by: LC, May 24th, 2020, 6:51pm; Reply: 35
Purely fictional, mine.  Obviously.

I'd love to think the current pandemic might change some people for the good.
Posted by: khamanna, May 24th, 2020, 7:03pm; Reply: 36
Mine is about me and my neighbor. I exagerated though. The neighbor is just the way he is in real life. I even kept the name.
Posted by: eldave1, May 24th, 2020, 7:47pm; Reply: 37

Quoted from khamanna
Mine is about me and my neighbor. I exagerated though. The neighbor is just the way he is in real life. I even kept the name.


Both of mine totally fictional other than the golf part.
Posted by: LC, May 24th, 2020, 8:47pm; Reply: 38
^ The golf line cracked me up. Perfectly timed joke.
Posted by: eldave1, May 24th, 2020, 8:55pm; Reply: 39

Quoted from LC
^ The golf line cracked me up. Perfectly timed joke.


Gracias:)
Posted by: Reef Dreamer, May 25th, 2020, 7:10am; Reply: 40

Quoted from khamanna
Mine is about me and my neighbor. I exagerated though. The neighbor is just the way he is in real life. I even kept the name.


wow, thats quite a personal story.


AND...another OWC. I'm getting the appetite for these things once more. Well, that until I see the next criteria and lose all creativeness. :o
Posted by: PKCardinal, May 26th, 2020, 11:40am; Reply: 41

Quoted from Arundel
Here's a question. Did writers submit scripts that echoed their own experiences? I know I did.

The Midday Sun: Single male goes out with his cellphone. I could have easily done that. I even described my immediate neighborhood.

There were stories revolving around married couples, visiting old folks homes, keeping in touch with family from a distance. Were these written by those who were in or experienced those situations?


Ask my neighbor what he thinks of my potato radio. (Okay, don't. There isn't one.)

The ice cream truck joke in my other short came from my wife joking about the UPS truck being so popular because it brings toilet paper. Put me in mind of the ice cream truck we used to stalk as kids. We'd chase that sucker down from blocks away.
Posted by: PKCardinal, May 26th, 2020, 11:42am; Reply: 42

Quoted from khamanna


Isn't Paul saying he's hosting it?


So, I kinda walked myself into that one, didn't I?

That said, if they need someone to lead the charge... I'm game. I have a couple of ideas. Though, no real good ones, yet.
Posted by: Don, May 26th, 2020, 12:00pm; Reply: 43
Here is Jeff's crappy mug.

Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), May 26th, 2020, 12:25pm; Reply: 44

Quoted from Don
Here is Jeff's crappy mug.



Tried to reply to Paul's post, but couldn't get this pic to upload.

Thank you to The Don!

Posted by: PKCardinal, May 26th, 2020, 2:10pm; Reply: 45

Quoted from Dreamscale


Tried to reply to Paul's post, but couldn't get this pic to upload.

Thank you to The Don!



That is awesome! Exactly what I would have pictured. :)
Posted by: Reef Dreamer, May 27th, 2020, 3:21pm; Reply: 46

Quoted from Don
Here is Jeff's crappy mug.



In respect to this thread I have changed my avatar

As the olde song goes, there’s ‘Nothing like a thong’

;D ;D ;D
Posted by: eldave1, May 27th, 2020, 3:30pm; Reply: 47

Quoted from Reef Dreamer


In respect to this thread I have changed my avatar

As the olde song goes, there’s ‘Nothing like a thong’

;D ;D ;D


I got one - Tried using it as a COVID mask. It was too small. Damn - now small for top and bottom!
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), May 27th, 2020, 5:23pm; Reply: 48

Quoted from eldave1


I got one - Tried using it as a COVID mask. It was too small. Damn - now small for top and bottom!


;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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