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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Thriller Scripts  /  A Reflection of Evil
Posted by: Don, June 13th, 2020, 10:26am
A Reflection of Evil by Robert Salone - Thriller - Molested by her uncle. A young girl creates games to play with her dolls in order to deal with her trauma. Sixteen years later, her games have become more deadly for everyone around her.102 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice :)
Posted by: AlsoBen, July 19th, 2020, 2:25am; Reply: 1
Hey Robert, are you on the boards? I'd love to give you some feedback if i knew you're around to see it.

First thoughts: the water mark is distracting (not needed),

You don't need the scene numbers in a spec (unless you're the director and are using this as a shooting).

You don't need to capitalize CHER's name each time she appears, just her first appearance. The reason we do this is so readers/actors/crew etc can know whether a character has appeared before and it acts a prompt for thewriter to provide the description of the characters (age, looks - which you've done in a really efficient and clear way, good job).

Aside from the above, this is technically sound and as I said I'd be happy to give you a full read through if you can reply/PM me you'd be here to see it.
Posted by: FrankH, August 23rd, 2020, 12:34pm; Reply: 2
Hey, Robert.

Your logline is intriguing.

Remove water marks and scene numbering, assuming this is a spec script, and
I'll take a stab at your script if you show up.

Frank
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