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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Drama Scripts  /  The Affection
Posted by: Don, July 5th, 2020, 8:28am
The Affection by Trevor Mabasa - Drama - Mechanic Engineering student put on the test when he rekindle the childhood friendship thatturned to be a hard hitting romance with a ballet dancer that got very dangerous when the ballet dancer former high school boyfriend turns to be the affection of the dangerous exploits haunting them. 123 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: eldave1, July 5th, 2020, 12:22pm; Reply: 1
Trevor, I would not recommend putting an entire script in bold font.
Posted by: MGayles, July 6th, 2020, 1:57pm; Reply: 2
the way you describe things is terrible and awesome at the same time.

"it’s whitey as in it’s cold and it has got fog on it."

No idea what that means.
Posted by: TrevorV, July 8th, 2020, 6:18am; Reply: 3
I'm the best you've never seen😂😂😂
Posted by: MGayles, July 8th, 2020, 11:52am; Reply: 4
i suggest getting a translator next time
Posted by: MikeCashman, July 8th, 2020, 1:33pm; Reply: 5
I suffered through three pages and stopped reading.  First, get rid of the "bold font" through-out the script.  Second, your grammar and use of words is a grammar nightmare.  This needs to be re-written correctly.  Not impressed with this script at all.
Posted by: BarryJohn, July 9th, 2020, 8:30am; Reply: 6
Hi Trevor

Reading your log line - I did not read further. Go with the good advice given above.

PS: MABASA, You South African?
Posted by: MGayles, July 9th, 2020, 1:01pm; Reply: 7
i kind of want to finish reading this

"I agree. Why are you two acting like Rabbits?"

LOL. This could be the The Room 2.0.
Posted by: TrevorV, July 9th, 2020, 4:14pm; Reply: 8
Thanks man. Let me know how was your reading.
Posted by: BarryJohn, July 10th, 2020, 2:08am; Reply: 9
...We like carrots?
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