Snake My Drain by Marnie (Mmmarnie) writing as John S. Leaky - Short, Fantasy - Unsatisfied with her marriage, a down-on-her-luck housewife begins fantasizing about a handsome plumber. But as fantasy blurs with reality more and more, her obsession with him becomes very dangerous.

Your Hero is the Villian: Plunger, Plumber, Home Improvement Store - pdf format

Weird title(but in a good way). This story requires interpretation. Maybe Wade's ignorant of her wife's mental condition and this drives her nuts. Or it is something way more severe than that.

Regardless, enjoyed this. Nice take on something serious.

Good luck.

This was a fun ride.

Obviously really liked this.

But I must say that it feels like two different stories in one - horny Loraine waiting for a plumber (this part of the story is absolutely great) jumped to become something entirely else.

The other part of the story - inspired and equally great. Please, after the thing is over just split this into two and you'll have two germs on your hands.

And I'm glad you incorporated the different place. You wouldn't if not this challenge, I think. You'd set everything at home. It was nice to be somewhere else, then return to Loraine's kitchen.

The songs, the dialog - all nicely done. This is a really good one.

The Elvis number really threw me for a bit and then her going psycho at the end also threw me. The tone shifts from frustrated housewife seeking some Pornhub plumbing action to Norma Bates stabby stabby  is jarring. I didn't know what to suggest but now I read the comments I think Khamanna has it spot on, it's like two stories merged. Both are enjoyable and have potential, just together they don't quite work at the moment.

However, all elements of the challenge are ticked and you managed an entertaining read with this combo.

-Mark

This really pulled out all the stops and was an enjoyable, refreshing fantasy. Not the typical kind I see under this genre heading. Good work with that.

Threw me for a loop a couple times. It was going at a silly, chick-flick pace but then turned the tables near the end. Oh yeah, this is a bad person we're dealing with here.

Only thing I wasn't too fond of was the switching back and forth between Ricky and Wade at the end. It made sense for her to see him in the mirror, but then the shifting back and forth in the final scene was too much. Just my minor quibble.

But really funny descriptions throughout. Works well as a comedy throughout up to the twist end.

Agree with the others, this is a script of two halves.

I like both halves, but for me the musical fantasy bit was just awesome, I could see that working really well!

The second half, the horror bit, isn't half bad either... but I wanted more singing Rick!

Good effort.

This better be good. These are the easiest requisite items yet! Here we go...

...oh, my. I wondered when an entry like this was going to rear its ugly head. I thought with Jeff out it might not happen but, YES! You took these easy items and raised the bar. This would've qualified under almost any genre so good planning on your part. Hero as the villain? Nailed it.

A good all-around entry. Nicely done, writer.

Good stuff.

I was with you all the way until the final few beats. For whatever reason, the flipping between Wade and Rick really threw it sideways for me.

Still, this is one crazy ride, and I enjoyed it.

Hi,

This was great story after a second read. First time confused me a bit but then I completely got it.
Great visuals, great dialogue and a very good story.

Well done.

Quoted from Kham ...Two germs on your hands

Don't you love when auto-correct gets it wrong, but kinda right cause it suits the whole plumbing scenario here. ;D

Some will argue this is not Fantasy genre in the strict sense of stereotype ingredients of dragons, goblins, etc. It's her fantasizing but also cause she's loopy and off her meds.

The sound effects in the opening line were a bit annoying, but...

The rest of it I quite enjoyed. The elaborate singing/dance number with Elvis as backing was pretty cool and a fantasy sequence for sure.
.
I liked it, though I'm not sure the final killing of Rick was necessary. It turned there into a Horror fusion. But hey, how to tie it all up otherwise...

I like your imagination with the elements here, cause they're a bit pedestrian, so good job there.
Enjoyable for sure.

Yes, I would be one of the ones to argue that this is not a fantasy because it's not the genre; the fantastical elements happen in Lorraine's own head, so this is a straight-up psychological drama.

Other than that, clever and very different use of what has been mentioned as some of the easier criteria to pair.

AJR

That was... entertaining. I do have a couple questions, though, that can’t really be answered until after the reveal.

First, was this an attempt at magical realism? It’s not really fantasy unless something fantastic happens outside a character’s head, but I think this was more of an honest mistake than an attempt to skirt the parameters. Besides, my fantasy piece this tournament had superheroes in it, so I’m not going to be casting any stones.

Second, how in the name of God did those variables survive until the fourth week?!

I was "cracking" up at the identical backup Rick's. Fun read, very entertaining. IDEA - Pitch This To Lowes or Office Depot (The Singing Ricks part) as a commercial.

Thanks.