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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  Advice on Writing Fight Scenes
Posted by: ChristopherW, July 29th, 2020, 3:48pm
Hi,

I have read and seen different examples of this and I am not sure which is correct. When  writing a fight scene do you capitalise certain actions or sound effects etc?

eg
TWO people in masks appear and are wearing the same armour as the ones who attacked Sarah. They go to draw GUNS. Broo SPRINGS OFF THE WALL and flies at the first assailant biting his hand with a SNAP.

or would i just write it normally.

all advice appreciated.
Posted by: LC, July 29th, 2020, 5:56pm; Reply: 1
Hi Christopher, and welcome to SS!

I'm not a big Action writer, so...

I have seen sounds capped and even that can be overdone imho. Here's a couple of links.

https://gointothestory.blcklst.com/question-what-about-capitalizing-sounds-in-spect-scripts-c4e589c5fbeb
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1407932475/s-14/highlight-+Action+scenes/#num14

That second link is more to do with SLUGS in action but might be helpful too.

Having said that I'll let one of the more seasoned Action writers respond in more detail.

There's a Writer's Tournament going on here at SS which might explain why you're not being inundated with answers at the moment.

A few links for you FYI the site:

https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-cc/m-1124159895/s-0/
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/

And, a scene from BOURNE IDENTITY:


EXT. BELLEVILLE -- STREET -- DAY

        And BOURNE and MARIE are running.  And he is reaching into
        his pocket -- fishing around -- and just as he pulls out the
        car keys -- we recognize this as the street they parked
        their car on and --

        BY MARIE's CAR

        BOURNE unlocks the door -- pops MARIE's open.  And --

        THERE'S A COP -- yelling at them and -- BOURNE hits the
        gas -- they fly out of their parking space -- BAM!!  The COP
        fires, shattering their windshield and there -- up ahead --
        THE PROFESSOR coming out -- about to FIRE -- BOURNE aims for
        him -- forces him to dive out of the way and --

        ONE QUICK MOVE around a TRUCK and they are free.

        INT. THE LITTLE RED CAR

        BOURNE and MARIE looking back nervously -- so far all over --

        ON THE STREET

        The PROFESSOR looking around.  PEOPLE staring at him --
        covered in blood -- the COP racing up -- yelling -- not
        yelling for long because the PROFESSOR is firing at him and --

        Now the PROFESSOR is moving -- not running -- just a swift
        walk and now he's past the truck -- and --

        A MOTORCYCLIST comes flying down the street -- oblivious --
        going way too fast for these streets and -- the PROFESSOR
        swings his gun stock like a bat -- takes him out -- clean
        and smooth -- bike crashing to the ground and --

        The PROFESSOR grabs the bike and takes off -- SHOOTING at
        TWO POLICE CARS just racing to the scene and we are into --

        EXT. BELLEVILLE BLVD -- DAY

        HIGH SPEED CAR CHASE.  And BOURNE better do some fancy
        driving because here comes the PROFESSOR -- and he's a lot
        faster -- much better armed.

        INT. MARIE'S CAR

        BOURNE driving.  MARIE looking back -- seeing the PROFESSOR
        gain on them --

                             MARIE
                   xxxxxx

                             BOURNE
                   xxxxxx

        And -- THE PROFESSOR FIRES -- SHREDS the back off their car --

                             MARIE
                   Give me the gun --

        And now she's got his shotgun, leaning out the window.

                             BOURNE
                   Wait 'till he's close.

        BOURNE swerves, up on the sidewalk back onto the street --
        slaloms through the traffic -- racing towards an intersection
        and --

        IN THE INTERSECTION

        CARS coming the other way, BOURNE just makes it through --
        the PROFESSOR tries to squeeze through -- skidding and --

        CRACK!  The PROFESSOR hits the front of a car sideways on
        his bike -- he is THROWN clear through the intersection,
        right into the windshield of an oncoming car and --

        He gets up, grabs his gun and works his way towards his bike
        and now we see --

        EXT. VARIOUS SHOTS AROUND PARIS -- DAY

        COPS are mobilizing -- swarming into this area and --

        BACK TO THE CAR CHASE --

        BOURNE and MARIE pick up a few cops on their tail -- shed
        all of them -- the last car goes into an EXPLOSIVE FLIP --
        the PROFESSOR is now right behind them.  And now we are into --

        CRAZY CAR CHASE WITH COPS RIGHT ON THEIR TAIL

        BOURNE, MARIE and the PROFESSOR leave a trail of totaled
        cars that the cops have to try and navigate through --
        finally saying fuck it and hitting a few cars themselves and
        now we are into --

        CAR CHASE THROUGH NARROW STREETS

        MARIE'S CAR and the MOTORCYCLE can pass where the police
        cars cannot.  BOURNE may be able to shed the cops, but not
        the PROFESSOR.  And now one quick move and they are --

        EXT. QUAI -- DAY

        Racing against traffic up the Seine.  Past the Louvre.  COPS
        pursuing on the other side of the river.  BOURNE and the
        PROFESSOR leaving behind a trail of carnage.  And now --

        The PROFESSOR is pulling up along side them -- one lane over.
        Both swerving to avoid oncoming cars and --

        MARIE FIRES -- TWICE -- TAKES out a few windshields.  The
        PROFESSOR fires at the same time -- MARIE'S CAR DOOR --
        GONE -- she's totally exposed but --

        THE PROFESSOR -- his BIKE is SPOUTING GAS -- one of the
        pellets nailed his tank.

        BOURNE AND MARIE --

                             MARIE
                   xxxxxx

        THE PROFESSOR -- No problem -- he's unwrapping a piece of
        duct tape from the barrel of his gun -- two seconds and the
        hole is patched and -- BOURNE AND MARIE -- the side of the
        car is completely gone -- the PROFESSOR is gaining -- across
        the river dozens of police cars are racing alongside.  Many
        more can be seen on their side -- a road block ahead --
        running out of options and --

        BOURNE turns hard -- crashes over the sidewalk and flies
        down a side street.  A POLICE CAR pulls out behind them --
        the PROFESSOR can't stop -- skidding hard, turning the bike
        sideways, skidding out -- sliding across the ground and
        BAMMM!!!  SMASHING into a GLASS PHONE BOOTH which shatters.

        And he's up -- lifting up his bike and --

        BOURNE AND MARIE

        SIX POLICE CARS on their tail -- more joining.  Every street
        they look down has POLICE CARS racing in parallel.  Running
        out of options and in the background --

        THE PROFESSOR is back in the game -- passing the police cars
        and up ahead --

        THE ROAD IS BLOCKED.  POLICE ROAD BLOCK -- cops with guns.
        Gotta act quick and -- BOURNE turns hard left -- there's a
        metro staircase -- only way out and --

        THEY BOUNCE down the stairs.  CRASH through the doors down
        below.

        THE FIRST POLICE CAR -- no way he's following.  SLAMMING on
        his brakes.  SKIDDING to a halt -- SKIDDING sideways --
        gonna stop in time -- just at the edge of the steps and then --

        THE SECOND POLICE CAR isn't braking -- T-BONES the first
        car -- BAM!!! -- sends it rolling sideways down the steps
        until it crashes to a halt at the bottom -- upside down.

Download Collateral pdf script too. A personal fav of mine.
Interesting examples of CAPS used in that.

I gather you're writing a Spec so my advice would be to use minimally, and only highlight crucial stuff at risk of it being annoying to the read.

Jmho.




Posted by: Lon, July 29th, 2020, 6:51pm; Reply: 2
You'll get varying answers. Some writers prefer to write out their action scenes punch for punch, kick for kick, gunshot for gunshot. Others prefer to generalize and only emphasize key moments. Others still prefer to simply write "they fight" or "the cops chase the bad guys."  All that really matters is clarity. As long as your reader can easily follow the action, write it as you will.

As for CAPPING certain things, traditionally the only thing you would cap in action/narratives are character intros and sound FX, and capping sound FX isn't really a thing anymore. A lot of modern writers have taken to using bold font in place of caps for such things, but really, it's not necessary or required. So really it's your choice. My only advice would be to not over-do it.  If you think reading someone writing in all caps on the internet can be annoying, imagine having to do it for ninety pages.

Good luck. Keep writing. :)
Posted by: JEStaats, July 29th, 2020, 7:32pm; Reply: 3
LC - That was an awesome example with Bourne. IMHO, just the right tone but the caps seem way overdone. The writing itself is classic in visualizing but not directing (helps that I've seen the movie 20 times).
Posted by: LC, July 29th, 2020, 7:36pm; Reply: 4
;D Me too!  A great movie's test of time is that you can watch it over and over and it's still good.
Posted by: BarryJohn, July 30th, 2020, 3:40am; Reply: 5
Use CAPS sparingly as they tend to break the flow of reading... Above example of BOURNE is how not to do it (in my opinion). I stutter in reading it. It has no flow, and as an action scene, it must flow FAST. Further too, we CAP our characters on introduction only. In above short extract PROFESSOR was caped 22 TIMES! We got who he is...              

          QUOTE:
        THERE'S A COP -- yelling at them and -- BOURNE hits the
        gas -- they fly out of their parking space -- BAM!!  The COP
        fires, shattering their windshield and there -- up ahead --
        THE PROFESSOR coming out -- about to FIRE -- BOURNE aims for
        him -- forces him to dive out of the way and --

          I'D WRITE AS:
        There's a cop -- YELLING at them and -- Bourne hits the
        gas -- they fly out of their parking space -- BAM!!  The cop
        fires, shattering their windshield and there -- up ahead --
        the professor coming out -- about to fire -- Bourne aims for
        him -- forces him to dive out of the way and --

You'll find LC's links to be very helpful. You may also want to visit; screencraft.com its packed with tutorials of all formatting... plus more.  
Posted by: ChristopherW, July 30th, 2020, 9:21am; Reply: 6
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all the advice. I will put it to good use.


Posted by: FrankM, July 30th, 2020, 10:57am; Reply: 7

Quoted from BarryJohn
Use CAPS sparingly as they tend to break the flow of reading... Above example of BOURNE is how not to do it (in my opinion). I stutter in reading it. It has no flow, and as an action scene, it must flow FAST. Further too, we CAP our characters on introduction only. In above short extract PROFESSOR was caped 22 TIMES! We got who he is...              

          QUOTE:
        THERE'S A COP -- yelling at them and -- BOURNE hits the
        gas -- they fly out of their parking space -- BAM!!  The COP
        fires, shattering their windshield and there -- up ahead --
        THE PROFESSOR coming out -- about to FIRE -- BOURNE aims for
        him -- forces him to dive out of the way and --

          I'D WRITE AS:
        There's a cop -- YELLING at them and -- Bourne hits the
        gas -- they fly out of their parking space -- BAM!!  The cop
        fires, shattering their windshield and there -- up ahead --
        the professor coming out -- about to fire -- Bourne aims for
        him -- forces him to dive out of the way and --

You'll find LC's links to be very helpful. You may also want to visit; screencraft.com its packed with tutorials of all formatting... plus more.  


You'll also see some writers will cap important NOUNS, which really ought to be reserved for unexpected things you want to make 100% sure the reader doesn't miss.

The cop pulls a gun.
The cashier pulls a GUN.


In my opinion, if a character was important enough to be CAPPED on intro (that is, will have lines or appear in more than one scene), then the name should be Capitalized every other time it appears. So, I would have written Cop and Professor above.

I do find myself putting character names in all-caps in wrylies, since I'm referring to them by their dialog labels. I also tend to use caps in dialog as a replacement for bolding, which a couple folks here find annoying.

                           ALICE
                       (whispers to BOB)
                   The last thing we want is for
                   your mother to MOVE IN with us.
Posted by: Lon, July 30th, 2020, 6:13pm; Reply: 8

Quoted from FrankM
I do find myself putting character names in all-caps in wrylies, since I'm referring to them by their dialog labels. I also tend to use caps in dialog as a replacement for bolding, which a couple folks here find annoying.

                           ALICE
                       (whispers to BOB)
                   The last thing we want is for
                   your mother to MOVE IN with us.


Folks find it annoying because it's the writer trying to do the actor's job for them. Actors don't appreciate it, either. They don't tell you how to write your script, you don't tell them how to deliver a line. The occasional wryly is fine if you're having trouble getting the tone across in the context of the scene itself, but in general, trust that the actor will put as much thought into their performance as you did in your writing and will find the tone themselves. That's their job, afterall, and is what they train to do. :)
Posted by: MarkRenshaw, July 31st, 2020, 10:03am; Reply: 9
For some reason, my PDF reader is not allowing me to select text so instead of examples, I suggest getting hold of Kingsman - The Secret Service screenplay, go to page 21 and see how they describe the famous bar fight scene. This is another way to handle fight scenes and, in my mind, stops the reader drifting off due to unnecessary detail.
Posted by: FrankM, July 31st, 2020, 11:40am; Reply: 10

Quoted from Lon
trust that the actor will put as much thought into their performance as you did in your writing and will find the tone themselves. That's their job, afterall, and is what they train to do. :)


The actor I trust. It's the studio readers I'm worried about :)
Posted by: eldave1, August 1st, 2020, 10:53am; Reply: 11
On CAPS - you'll get as many answers as there are writers.

CAPs on characters first introduced is a must, whether they are named or not.

Everything else is a matter of choice,

My personal opinion is that CAPS are for emphasis and when you overuse them they lose the emphasis that they were designed for in the first place.

For "sounds, actions, and object" - my own personal rule is to limit them to instances where the sound, action, or object is meant to startle - s hock - surprise.
Posted by: Lon, August 1st, 2020, 5:52pm; Reply: 12
Edited for being too preachy. Disregard. :)
Posted by: Pleb, August 2nd, 2020, 11:29am; Reply: 13
I think Lon’s first post (especially in regards to keeping it minimal) is spot on. I did a bunch of stunt work years ago and was surprised by how little action was actually written, and this was for proper chopsocky stuff too.
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