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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Thriller Scripts  /  Ctrl+Z
Posted by: Don, September 5th, 2020, 11:03am
Ctrl+Z by Gaurav Sachar - Short, Thriller, Dark Thriller, Horror - The complexity of the bridge between reality and nightmare, which should be undone. 4 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: Yuvraj, September 5th, 2020, 2:13pm; Reply: 1
Gaurav, it is really hard to read a script if it is not properly formatted. I would advise you to go read some properly formatted scripts, know the standard rules and guidelines regarding screenwriting, and use an open-sourced screenwriting software for writing your scripts. At present condition, maybe your story is good but the formatting is completely off.  

Good luck.                        
Posted by: eldave1, September 5th, 2020, 7:35pm; Reply: 2
Concur - it's not even close, mate
Posted by: LC, September 5th, 2020, 10:52pm; Reply: 3
Gaurav, here's a link to screenwriting software that's free:

https://www.trelby.org/
Got go the download page.

Also: https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/screenwriting-software/

The way it's laid out it's a bit difficult to see the wood for the trees here, meaning your actual story is getting a bit lost. You need to write to Industry Standard. The software links will help you there.

Also: Screenwriting is written in present tense. Using a few of your lines as examples:
The other boy went to the door and opened that.
That's past tense.

The boy shuts the door and points his finger at the door.
This is present tense. Correct.


The Man turned from the verandah and smiled back and waved his hand in
sign of goodbye.


This should read something like:

EXT. VERANDA - NIGHT
The Man turns, smiles, waves goodbye.

SCENE CHANGE is incorrect. You need to write the actual scene header of where we are, - outside or inside, where the location is e.g. Verandah, and the time of day - example - DAY or NIGHT etc.

Hope this helps.
A lot of good advice can be found here:
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-screenwrite/

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