Quoted Text FAISAL (V.O.) This can be bigger than before. You know why I picked you the first time round? You still don't get it do you? When the rest of the world military's, militias, comes out to play these big games they put so much at risk. Losing half while gaining half. They all come out with what they lost. But me and you are more evolved. While they all place their chips at the poker table - me and you sneak out, go to the depository - grab whats left in their hanged up coats, minimal risk with all the credit. You know you're not a game player - same as me. A professional. |
Quoted Text Andrew stops in his tracks. Remembering an old student he used to teach. Faisal starts sounding more sensible now. |
Quoted Text There’s a pause in the conversation. Crackles in the background from an international call. It’s a sign of business. After the pause, a familiar voice comes through, |
Quoted Text Hey eldave Thankyou for getting back to me, ok I will start using V.O for phone conversations and another question, when using (filtered) on the telephone conversations, should I just use (Filtered) once? Because I don’t know if I should keep using it or just once at the beginning? |
Quoted Text I know that it’s also about bad people, in it William the student slowly understands the consequences and the ethical reason why not to continue and he drags Andrew into believing this too by the very end, meanwhile Faisal is all in on making money and nothing else. Overall the people who are good is the Syrian rebels and William. |
Quoted Text Ok from my last script I learnt obviously not so wordy and to cut scenes which are pointless, and so far from all you’re advise I’ve cut down on 11 pages which is good. |
Quoted Text So for this screenplay I’ve learnt that maybe I should make my characters more likeable, but how do I do this? I know Hollywood wants it but I find it so difficult writing for good people, I just like them real, and Andrew is the protagonist but he’s definitely not a good person and I’d say in the end he gets what he deserves - death. |
Quoted Text I do like how you’ve written that and I will change it in the re-write, could I also ask something that is difficult for me - I know I do write more novel like and I don’t want to continue to do that but how can I write, like you say showing more but still have the impact of meaning, is there any books you think I could read that will help me? I really really want to try and I know I’m not there yet but I don’t want to give up. I’ve read the 101 books like save the cat and Joseph Campbell but if there’s some more unique books that you know of that will help me I’d definitely be interested, give me a PM? |
Quoted from BillyJ Ok then do like for instance if I think that it’s important to explain defining things that will come up later in the story? Thankyou all for helping |