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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Drama Scripts  /  The Piss Test
Posted by: Don, November 8th, 2020, 11:11am
The Piss Test by Ben Clifford - Short, Drama - An eight-year-old boy accompanies his struggling mother to a court-mandated urine drug-screen, and he recounts everything his mother has taught him over the years - good and bad.  14 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: AlsoBen, November 8th, 2020, 3:29pm; Reply: 1
That was really quick Don. Thanks.
Posted by: BarryJohn, November 9th, 2020, 3:33am; Reply: 2
WOW! My God, I have never seen/read such professional writing in all my years! The manner in which you told the story through the eyes/mind of Malakai. Showing his mothers good up bring of him- in that, what he says in remembrance. Mum, and "her past" she brought him up well!      

BRILLIANT!!!
Posted by: AlsoBen, November 9th, 2020, 4:11am; Reply: 3
Thanks, Barry. That's some high praise - I humbly suspect once you read more shorts by talented writers your statement will feel much less true to you :P

Appreciate the read.
Posted by: BarryJohn, November 9th, 2020, 4:44am; Reply: 4
Jesus Ben! I gave you a GENUINE praise - that you deserved. I'll say it again, F*cking well done on a brilliant script! This is your post - your script, I, we responding/committing too.  Not others, that can stand on their own feet. Y.  
Posted by: BarryJohn, November 9th, 2020, 5:14am; Reply: 5
I'm going to continue... Cause I'm really upset by the small mind thinking (not you Ben, generally speaking). Is this not a site where we are honest to ones writing more than their feelings? If the later? then what are we doing by commenting to say a script is not good... or bad? together with offering advice/assistance. - who are we, just to say "NICE SCIPT" When it in actual fact, sucks! What are we teaching then? Cruel to be kind, right- is it not how we LEARN? It's how I learned. No regrets. Come one... Let's get real! let's be professional An ounce of salt or a bag?  
Posted by: LC, November 9th, 2020, 5:47am; Reply: 6
Ben was probably a bit overcome with the high praise, Barry. I'm sure he's thankful for your heartfelt comment.

In my experience most people on SS do give honest feedback. There's not a lot of comments that praise lacklustre material.
Posted by: AlsoBen, November 9th, 2020, 5:58am; Reply: 7
Was just having some fun Baz :p
Posted by: BarryJohn, November 9th, 2020, 6:28am; Reply: 8
Thanks, LC. You gotta read that good script of his. I quote you:> In my experience most people on SS do give honest feedback. Yes, we do, sure, it depends who it comes from. hay, I just learned from the best here... Eg: You, LC! Thank you.

I don't know how to delete myself? Please ask Don to delete me , from this site, SS. To you ALL! thank's and keep well - keep safe. God speed!

You keep well.

Regards,
Barry John Terblanche
Posted by: AlsoBen, November 9th, 2020, 7:23pm; Reply: 9
Don’t worry Barry - I’ve never been good at responding to praise. I really do appreciate your thoughts - sorry if I seemed flippant!
Posted by: LC, November 9th, 2020, 8:47pm; Reply: 10
Yes. Come back, Barry!
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