The Party Company by Chris Snowden - Series, Action, Adventure - The Party Emporium, an underground sex trafficking and drug cartel that operates as one stop party company for Los Angeles's elites, goes to war with Caesar, a sociopathic drug lord with a god complex. - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice :)

Read a few - your dialogue is actually pretty solid. Your action/descriptions need work. Let's look at page 1.

Quoted Text TEASER                         FADE IN:

don't need TEASER and FADE IN = left justiified.

Quoted Text EXT. DOWNTOWNZZ LOS ANGELES STREET - DAY - 1933

typo - ZZ after downtown.

Don't put years in your header - they are not a location. Go with a SUPER:

Quoted Text Cars drive by as pedestrians are leaving and entering stores and restaurants. We notice two men walking down the sidewalk. MAN 1, glasses, soft-faced, brown suit, dignified hat, is slowing down while looking around confused. MAN 2, wiseguy, too big for his britches, stern, blue suit, stops to look back at Man 1.

Once you get to 4 lines - break it up.
CAP all characters (PEDESTRIANS)
Write active - PEDESTRIANS leave - rather than are leaving. SLows down rather than is slowing...etc
Lose the WE NOTICE

Something like:

Cars drive by as PEDESTRIANS exit and enter stores and restaurants.

Two men stroll down the sidewalk. MAN 1, glasses, soft-faced, brown suit, dignified hat, slows down while looking around confused.

MAN 2, wiseguy, too big for his britches, stern, blue suit, stops to look
back at Man 1.