The Outsourcing Jesus by Ronald Micci - Short, Comedy - In a world of shrinking job expectations, our Lord and Savior is always available for free consultations. 7 pages  - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Ronald,

You reeled me in with the title and log line but unfortunately the script itself didn’t work for me.

Perhaps it went over my head I don’t know, but as I was reading it I had no idea why you called the guy Alexander the Great, unless I’m missing something obvious (which is a very real possibility), and I the narration felt way too wordy for me. Quite a few times I found myself wondering what are we meant to be seeing whilst the narrator is waffling away?

That said, I dig the concept and think if it was tightened up it’d make for a great little short.

Anyways good luck with it.

Cheers