Worst Date Ever by Steven Sallie - Short, Drama - Things don't go as expected when Andrew asks Kate for a second date. 6 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Relatable little story you have here, like it.

Maybe you could go with a different title as people will more or less know what to expect going into a story' Worst Date Ever'. Here's a few examples below...

* 'Date?'

* 'Deceiver at the Diner'

Just grabs your interest a bit more.

                   The things you have to do when there's nothing good on TV. - didn't really get that line, I'd take it
                   out.

Liked how everyone was eavesdropping. You could have the waitress accidentally pour coffee on a customer cause she's too preoccupied with the couple.

                    I'm so far from making a point, it might as well be in another galaxy! - funny line nice one.

                    What that as bad as I think it was? - shouldn't that be 'was' that as bad as I think it was?

Remember always re-read.

The last couple of lines read a bit iffy to me. Instead you could put...

                     Customers make their way out of the diner, leaving Andrew utterly obliterated and
                     humming along to sombre Golden Oldies.

Overall good effort, just needs that little something to elevate it.