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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  Format question
Posted by: JohnI, September 7th, 2021, 9:37am
Okay so i want to do a montage of short shorts - the montage part is easy. The problem I’m having is that there are two different scenes - locations. What i am doing is using the montage to contrast the complete opposites of my two characters. Both are in a church during a service - different churches.

Picture it this way - you have two characters playing in two different basketball games - you want to montage short shots from each game - multiple shots flipping back and forth.

Any ideas are welcome

Thanks ahead of time

John
Posted by: SAC, September 7th, 2021, 2:57pm; Reply: 1
Just give a mini slug detailing which church is is.

CHURCH #1

Sal and Laverne stand at the altar.

CHURCH #2

Kate and Barry stand at the altar.

CHURCH #1

Sal vomits on the Priest. Laverne gags.

Something like that I would think.
Posted by: FrankM, September 8th, 2021, 5:41pm; Reply: 2
If it would be very obvious where you are at any moment in time, you can save the space of those mini-slugs by using an INTERCUT.

INT. FARMHOUSE - DAY
Treva combs out Holly’s hair before a plate-sized mirror.
HOLLY
I don’t have to win, but I have to
look like I want to be there.

INT. SAFIR CASTLE - DAY
A servant tries to mend a loose fastener on Amity’s dress,
but she keeps stepping away as she talks.
AMITY
As much as it pains me to admit it,
Sarah might have a point. Roland
can’t go marrying a commoner when
there are nobles in waiting.

INTERCUT BETWEEN HOLLY AND AMITY

Holly squares her shoulders, puts her nose up.
HOLLY
I’ll have to look noble.

Amity squares her shoulders, takes off her tiara.
AMITY
I just have to enter and win it.
I’ll have to look common.

Holly parodies a dainty wave.
HOLLY
But not a thin-blooded waif.

Amity looks down her nose at the city outside her window.
AMITY
But not an unwashed peasant.

Holly holds up a beaten-up, muddy shoelace.
HOLLY
I’ll need presentable stuff that
(frayed end falls off)
won’t do that.

Amity pulls pin after pin from her hair.
AMITY
I’ll need hair I can put up on my
own. Something simple but elegant
(points at a servant)
like hers.

Holly and Treva fold clothing into a worn backpack.
HOLLY
I’ll ride with Papa as far as the
barony’s capital, then go the rest
on foot. I’m sure others will be
going the same way.

Amity supervises half a dozen servants packing several bags.
AMITY
Tell the king that I’m...

She pulls a bow and quiver off the wall, hands them to one of
the packing servants.
AMITY
...on a “hunting” trip.
Posted by: Lon, September 8th, 2021, 6:34pm; Reply: 3
The first thing you need to know is if what you're doing is actually a montage, an intercut sequence, or a series of shots. Each are different and all serve a different purpose. It sounds to me, based on how you laid it out, that you're actually talking about an intercut sequence.

This is different from a montage in that a montage is a series of mini-scenes, each a part of a single arc in the overall story. The dating montage from The Naked Gun, for example. Besides being a lot of silly fun, it's also a great example of a montage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTSjhm2t8ms

A series of shots is just what it sounds like, only instead of depicting a story arc, it's usually more like a step-by-step breakdown of a single act. Like the brief car chase in Hot Fuzz:
https://youtu.be/0-lcqIuVaR8

An intercut sequence -- which, again, is more what it sounds like you're going for -- is used to depict two different acts, scenes or locations happening at the same time. You can intercut between two montages, you can intercut between two series of shots, you can intercut between the INT and EXT of a car during a high octane chase scene, etc. For your purposes, all you need is a master slug:

INTERCUT - INT. BOB'S PENTECOSTAL CHURCH / INT. MARY'S CATHOLIC CHURCH

And from there just use mini-slugs to jump back and forth. And a mini-slug can be something as simple as the character's name:


BOB drops pocket change into the collection plate and passes it along.

MARY takes to her knees, hands clasped in prayer.

BOB opens his hymnal.

MARY receives a communion wafer.


And on and on until the intercut is finished. The next scene after, indicate the end of the intercut with something like:

EXT. WHATEVER LOCATION - DAY (END INTERCUT)

The key, as always, is clarity. Just keep it simple and clear as you can. Good luck. :)
Posted by: JohnI, September 9th, 2021, 11:32am; Reply: 4
Thank you to everybody - think it is an intercut
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