Fade Out by Stewie Griffin - A man struggles to find the words he needs to say.  Short, Drama

Writer,

Clever. Speaking of football, a loss this week and I’m saying goodbye to my Giants. But anyway…

Good way of saying goodbye. Fade out. But apparently you did get an entry in! Written well and well done.

Steve

Hi, writer,

The story is clever in its deliverance. It is quick and easy to read. Although, to me, it seemed really odd in relation to the given theme of the challenge.

Good luck.  

Clever and quirky, but there's really not much here. Definitely relatable. Lol. Good effort. :)

%

Writer;
Man relating to machine. These days computers pretty much function as partners. Except with this project who left who needs to be clarified because with the push of a button they will both return.
Thoughtful entry.

Loved the set-up and the build up.
Laughed at the two mugs being placed for inspiration.  ;D

I suppose I just wanted more. I was hoping for a bit more of a punchline to Fade Out. Perhaps if you expand this you could add a spouse character or an interrupting child?

Entertaining nonetheless.

Hi Stewie Griffin,

I rolled my eyes when I first started reading this, at the meta-ness of the script. But was pleasantly surprised by the end of things. I liked the visual of him replacing FADE IN with FADE OUT, it's very strong, especially complemented with him being clean shaven and dressed nicely. Really makes you wonder, what's he going to do next? While I have an idea, it could be different from others. Good way of saying Goodbye.

Good job.

Sean

a very quick read on this one indeed, so thumbs up on that!  I think it's pretty clear that we have a writer here who is saying goodbye (symbolically) to writing. rather than turn in a script, the only thing he types is
"FADE OUT", or "this is the end for me".  Certainly is a feeling we've all probably felt at one time or another, so I can't quarrel with what the writer does here.  And to be able to do it in a page and a half is pretty impressive.  I like the visuals and the white space utilized here, so good job here.  Best of luck with it.

Hi Griffin - Loved this. Might not have a lot to do with the criteria, but I don't care.

Great writing + Super relatable!

Writer,

Good job on using the challenge itself to tell your story.  It's written well and relatable.  

All the best.

Hmm... that was different. Very different. An easy, very well written little short though.

My main criticism would be that whilst it's fairly relatable, it lacks the punch of the previous scripts I've read so far.

Good luck

So, the writer is saying goodbye to the script. He's never coming back.

Or, given that he's now dressed nicely and clean-shaven, we can clearly assume he's no longer a writer.

Yep, I think that's it.

Thematically, I like this one, but I felt the story, perhaps ironically, was lacking. Reminded me of when people used to write those meta SS scripts back in the day. However, this one felt lacking by its lack of detail. We never get a sense of Carson (if he's wearing the same clothes for the third straight day, he went to work that way or doesn't have a job) as a person. Also, if I'm not mistaken, the script covers a period of nine days, more than the length of the OWC. I hate nit picking story elements, but it is a rather short script and it sticks out to me. Best of luck with this one.

Laughed as soon as I saw he was called Carson, well done for getting an entry in I guess ;-)