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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  The September 2021 OWC  /  Seeds - OWC
Posted by: Don, September 24th, 2021, 10:36pm
Seeds by Me - A scientist faces the pain of the end of her project.  Short, Drama, Sci Fi
Posted by: Yuvraj, September 25th, 2021, 6:13am; Reply: 1
Hi, writer,

The story did not land for me. I mean, to care about the characters we need to know the relationship between them and here, I was unclear about it. From what I understand, it is some kind of conspiracy that deals with the deaths of renowned figures or some unfortunate events. This aims for something big, however, in six pages, it doesn't leave any impact.

Good luck.    
Posted by: SAC, September 25th, 2021, 12:12pm; Reply: 2
Writer,

Had to look up Madame Curie to see what she was famous for. Don’t judge. Anyways… I think you had a very good concept with this, however, there was no “wow” factor for me or tension that kept me turning the pages. Basically, I wasn’t riveted by this, and with a concept like this I feel I should have been. Good work!

Steve
Posted by: RolandJ, September 25th, 2021, 6:12pm; Reply: 3
Writer, juxtaposing the past with the future creation of significant people. I was a bit confused...was Nancy sad to see the end of the experiment in general....or was she sad at the inevitable death of Abraham --which suggests she had some maternal longings...?
Posted by: Kevin_L, September 26th, 2021, 5:17pm; Reply: 4
Writer,

With some tiny tweaks, I think your story would take off.    Very clever having him at nine years old.  Did you make that intentional since Abe's mother died when he was nine?  I'm assuming you did since her name was Nancy, and the character in your story is named Nancy.  Your script reminds me of an article I read about how scientists came to the hypothesis that there is a 50/50 chance we are living in a simulation.   I think it was in Scientific American.    Good job.

All the best.
Posted by: Matthew Taylor, September 27th, 2021, 10:38am; Reply: 5
Hi Writer


Quoted Text
High tech.


A bit vague for my liking

The story didn;t do much for me but it's some nice imagination you have, and I do love reading Sci-fis'

All the best
Posted by: Gary in Houston, September 27th, 2021, 4:37pm; Reply: 6
It's a creative story to be sure,  I'm just not sure I understand the link with Nancy and Abraham Lincoln (and then Marie Curie).  Apparently Nancy and her team have molded these young people to become great in their fields? Or were they essentially test tube creations in a lab then transported to the time when they would be instrumental?  I guess I would just like to have understood that a little better, but beyond that, it was certainly interesting and well-written.  Good job  here and best of luck with it.
Posted by: ColinS, September 27th, 2021, 5:35pm; Reply: 7
Hi Me,

In terms of being creative regarding the challenge this is top marks for me. I also enjoyed the steady reveal to who this boy named Abraham actually is.

The writing is solid.

Do agree though that perhaps another page or so could have been used to explain a bit more about these 'projects'. Just wasn't sure what these scientist were actually trying to achieve.

Nevertheless, was impressed.  Good luck!
Posted by: Pleb, September 28th, 2021, 12:15pm; Reply: 8
Nice, clean writing here. Really interesting concept that offers lots of room for expansion too.

Has a kind of a Quantum Leap feel to it which I'm a fan of.

Good job!
Posted by: Zombie Sean, September 28th, 2021, 5:56pm; Reply: 9
Hi Me,

I'm going to be one of the black sheep here, and I honestly said out loud once I finished the script, "That was cool."

Now, I don't really know who Marie Curie is (I've heard the name), but the basic premise I've gathered here was that they are creating these historical figures to send back in time and perform their historical duties, though inevitably they will die prematurely, whether in an accident or a murder.

For instance, Abraham Lincoln gets assassinated, and I enjoyed the idea behind Nancy developing a connection with young Abraham before sending him to his doom. Marie Curie dies from semi-natural causes (bone marrow failure, based off what I read on Wikipedia, most likely from radiation exposure).

Anyway, very cool sci-fi story here. I enjoyed the idea, I enjoyed the ending, and I would be curious to see this as as feature.

Good job,

Sean
Posted by: Mr. Blonde, September 29th, 2021, 3:10pm; Reply: 10
I guessed wrong about where this one was going and I actually feel a little disappointed, now because I wish you had taken the other direction. The story is good, though, manipulating the past. There were a couple moments in the beginning where I got a bit lost and had to play catch-up, but it's a solidly-detailed script for a week. Best of luck with this one.
Posted by: Zack, October 1st, 2021, 11:07am; Reply: 11
Another really good one! Great writing, great imagination. Very creative. Only real complaint I have is that I want more! ;D Great work here.

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Posted by: AnthonyCawood, October 1st, 2021, 6:13pm; Reply: 12
I really liked this, a great central idea and I had no problem understanding or following what was going on.

The part of me with a dark sense of humour would love to see The Hitler Project
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