No Trespassing by Jesson Kinder - Comedy, Horror - The host of a popular YouTube horror channel and his friends find more than they bargained for when they break into a mysterious house with a dark history. 23 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This is a short script, Don.

I think this belongs in the shorts section, lol. Mistakes happen.

Review:

Like the writing, just needs some tweaks on screenplay formatting like physical character descriptions (tall, ugly, etc.), specific headers (emphasize the mystery machine is a car; i picked up on it due to scooby doo but I don't think other readers will get the reference in the beginning).

As I was reading this, I think this would work better if you shot it as if they were shooting live. For instance, when Will says "after this break" , show a commercial, and then we return back. Have them interview Hearst etc.

Hope this helps,
Gabe