Hey All,

Currently finishing up a feature (or trying to, before Halloween) of an anthology of horror stories. I'm struggling with how I should write the logline, and how much of each story I should include, if any.

Right now this is the logline I have:

A dead body being passed from one occupation worker to the next torments those who handle him.

Any help would be appreciated.

Sean

Hey, Sean, this is the first interaction between us.  

From the logline, I get a 'John/Jane Doe' vibe from it. Just having the logline as of now, I assume that -- it is an unknown dead body? No identity? And if that is the case then, the logline needs a bit more impact to it, imo.

Kinda like -- Torment plagues occupational workers when an unidentified dead body is discovered. Don't know if the 'occupational workers' is the right term.  

And if it is a known dead body then, you should mention some kind of identity.

Quoted from Zombie Sean A dead body being passed from one occupation worker to the next torments those who handle him.

Hey Sean.  Quick take.  Passive language.  Lose "being."

I think I need a little background here as to why the body is being passed along from person to person. I mean… I don’t know what I mean. Why? Do you mean from like a morgue worker at the hospital to a funeral home worker to drive it to the funeral home, where it ends up with a funeral director? What kind of things are happening? Odd things? Bad luck? Are people being killed here? What gives?

Hey guys,

Thanks so far.

Yuvraj, The Dead Body has an identity, but I want to keep it hidden up until the very end, if at all ever revealed. I have reasoning for why he's never given a name. I, too, don't know if occupational workers should be the term used.

Bert, thanks for that quick tip. I'll lose it.

Steven, bingo. It's being passed on from the driver who picks up the body, to the mortician who works on the body, to the funeral director who conducts the body's service, circling back to the family of the body where we find out why the body is tormenting everyone it encounters. They're odd, disturbing, bad things (but fortunately, NOBODY is killed in this script...)

Sean

Here's a quick synopsis I had written about this script a while ago:

Four stories. Four secrets. One body that holds them all.

Part 1: The Driver
A mortuary transport technician has a disturbing conversation with the dead body he has picked up that night.

Part 2: The Mortician
Once the dead body is dropped off at the mortuary, the mortician working on him is haunted by her dark past.

Part 3: The Director
The funeral director working the skeleton crew must maintain his sanity before the family arrives for the dead body's ceremony.

Part 4: The Family
The dead body's family attends the ceremony, where they all hold one story of what happened on the night the man died.

Quoted from Zombie Sean Steven, bingo. It's being passed on from the driver who picks up the body, to the mortician who works on the body, to the funeral director who conducts the body's service, circling back to the family of the body where we find out why the body is tormenting everyone it encounters. They're odd, disturbing, bad things (but fortunately, NOBODY is killed in this script...) Sean

Like it!!

An unidentified corpse exudes a mysterious aura that exposes the tortured souls of all who come in contact with it.

Quoted from steven8 An unidentified corpse exudes a mysterious aura that exposes the tortured souls of all who come in contact with it.

The corpse is identifiable, we just never know his name. The rest of it is really good! Thank you :) The script has already been posted but I could ramp up the logline…

Quoted from Zombie Sean The corpse is identifiable, we just never know his name. The rest of it is really good! Thank you :) The script has already been posted but I could ramp up the loglineďż˝

I'm glad you liked it.  This is all practice for me.  I thought your idea was intriguing, and wanted to take a stab at the logline.  The art of writing a logline is amazing.  I'll have to go check out your script!!

Just another suggestion to chew over:

A dead man casts a dark shadow on all who handle his corpse from his home to his grave.