I know the forum's dead, but I need someone to look over the opening act of a script I'm writing and tell me if I've overused flashbacks/not done enough to make it cinematic. Link to draft: https://www.dropbox.com/s/wodm3mxm4ximb4k/Big%20Winner%20Boundaries%20first%2030.pdf?dl=0

It's about 30 pages and I'll trade for something similar.

Other SS users can vouch for the robustness of my feedback

For me - the answer is yes - overdone and they really took me out of the story.  

Take the first one for example - you have 6 pages really to get one point across - Ethel was a shitty mother - really not worth the real estate IMO.  We kind of already know that and you could easily get the same point across in one or two exchanges between the characters.

Just my opinion - but take one stab at this without flashbacks - as it as now - it really disrupts the story flow.

All that being said - I do like the bones of the story - I think you can do it present day

Thanks for the read Dave. Anything for exchange?

Can I pick your brain - would it help if the flashbacks are "balanced" in the finished script? By which I mean - there's two flashbacks currently which do take up considerable real estate, but the prominence of flashbacks is similar throughout, sort of like a parallel plot? I feel like being outside the present is important thematically. Ethel's definitely a shitty Mom, but Olive's FB was more about establishing why she feels the need to submit herself to sex (I don't know if that's clear how I wrote it).

I know I need to kill my darlings, but I love the idea of examining these relationships through time without having to write, like, a miniseries or a novel.

Nothing to exchange right now, but thanks. You may want to consider opening the script with the Olive scene. Right now we go from Ethel 2 Olive and then to a flashback for Olive. By that time I have forgotten all about Ethel. It might be clear if you went  Olives in the first scene, then flashback, and then the Ethel scene.

Make sense bro. Thnx again.

No problem

Hey mate again, been a while and I'm writing my last script I'm going to do, still got to post it but have the first act down aswell I'll get reading now and look forward to it, always love you're scripts happy you're still writing too!