Print Topic

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Horror  /  The Halloweed Squad
Posted by: Don, June 19th, 2022, 9:24pm
The Halloweed Squad by Dan Kowalski - Short, Horror - A lonely new girl in town fits in with a group of girls dressed as vintage cheerleaders for Halloween. But something about these new friends is very off. 9 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: bjamin, June 22nd, 2022, 9:19pm; Reply: 1
i liked it. the bones are def. there. but i dont think your story needs to go longer than 6 pages. try to keep it simple. i do like the twist of the girl cliquing up with her ma's dead friends. not sure why you are naming races in the script, though, maybe that's new, this will be my first script to read in years, but you should consider what relevance it has to the story or to me caring. also i almost stopped reading at the ancestral homeland part. wtf is that? how out of place can you get? 86 that shit, unless i missed something. otherwise it's  flat out weird, at least 2 me. overall, kudos.  anyway, thanks for the read.
Print page generated: April 19th, 2024, 3:27am