A New Job by Linda Gould - Short, Drama - At a start-up film production company, office workers who are also aspiring screenwriters conspire to undercut each other. 7 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Job 1...  Read up on screenplay format.

While a few formatting errors can be overlooked, a blatant abandonment of format can not.

Job 2... Rewrite your dialogue to sound more natural.

Your characters sound like they're reading from a manual. Try reading your dialogue out loud and see how it sounds. I'm willing to bet that you'll see that people don't talk like that.

Job 3... Create a beginning, middle, and end to your story.

There really isn't a story here. It's just a few clips from someone's life and they don't really make sense.

Good luck.

-Jordan

Thanks for your input. All valid points.