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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Series  /  Bear Bones Show
Posted by: Don, August 28th, 2022, 10:40am
Bear Bones Show: Episode 1 by Jesson Kinder - Series, Comedy - It’s Bear’s first show, so the host of the world’s cheapest talk show wastes no time celebrating its anniversary and his first guest. Special appearance by Dracula. (Unofficially) sponsored by Scope. 7 pages - pdf format

Bear Bones Show Episode 2 "Will Smith!" by Jesson Kinder - Series, Comedy - Back (somehow) by unpopular demand, failed Youtube star turned any time, any place, anywhere talk show host Bear Bones breaks into a funeral home to film his second show. Special guest appearance by a confused cop who isn’t Will Smith but will still be billed that way! Check your local listings for updates on the upcoming trial! - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: Nomad, September 1st, 2022, 3:32pm; Reply: 1
Why do you hate me?

You clearly must hate me.

That's the only logical reason for having me read this script.

I felt like my brain was going to explode and Papa Smurf was going to jump out, high five me, and give me some ecstasy.

I could see everything you wrote once I abandoned all hope of trying to make sense of anything.
There could be some absurd humor here, but it's not my kind of humor.

It's like The Hangover took acid and dropped itself into the lottery ball number chooser thing and just spit out whatever came up next then ran with it like it was hopped up on crystal meth until its heart gave out then died in a field of barbed wire sunflowers but was eaten by a pack of hairless hyenas who spoke with Ukrainian accents only to poison them and then burst forth from their guts as a fiery flock of flying dodos.

Oh my God... It's infected me.

-Jordan
Posted by: Jesson K., September 1st, 2022, 3:45pm; Reply: 2
Jordan, that may be the greatest review I've ever received! That's one heck of a psychedelic sequence... (Taking notes.) Thank you. Sorry to your brain. :)
Posted by: ColinS, September 2nd, 2022, 10:45am; Reply: 3
Ok, what I just read is utterly crazy, but... I think I would actually enjoy watching such insanity play out on screen. I am a fan of the absurd you see.

I think this kinda thing would be marmite for most readers - either enjoy it or hate it. But that is the beauty of subjectivity.

Going forwards you might wanna edge towards more coherency in your narrative, but wtf do I know :)

Also - Whilst they were fun to read, I'm not sure regarding comedy in your slug lines - as they don't translate to the screen.

Good luck, keep your style.

Cheers



Posted by: Jesson K., September 3rd, 2022, 2:56pm; Reply: 4
Thanks for taking the time to read it. :)
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