Friction by Rick Dobbertin - Sci Fi, Fantasy - When an alien mining crew set their sights on Earth's natural resources, they deploy an immense, stationary atmosphere in the path of our planet's 67,000-mph orbit around the Sun to use our high velocity against us, to burn off the Earth's crust for their global-scale strip-mining operation.   120 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

I have to admit when i read the logline i was thinking... so the BLOB attacks earth; which brought back memories of the bad B-Sci-Fi movies we used to watch on TV as kids on rainy Saturday afternoons. But i'm a fan of real Sci-Fi, not that stuff they try to pass off as Sci-Fi on the SYFY channel that is really just horror/thriller, so i was pleasantly surprised by your script.

I bought into the world you created: the vivid descriptions, and the science seemed plausible. The opening sequence was spectacular. However, i was never emotionally attached to your main characters but loved that you created a female lead that saved the day and not her husband/significant other. I was more attached to the ship Aurora and was sad when it got demolished. One thing that made me pause while reading: mankind is very technologically advanced in your story but cars on Earth still have keys?

You have several instances of "raising the stakes" or hurdles the main characters go through. Do you really need all of those? My belief in the story started to waiver with so many obstacles.

Near the end, the descriptions of what was happening filled the script and had very little dialog between characters and i wondered how this would all transfer to the screen and if it would work-- film-maker wise. It seemed more like a good ebook than a script in the last 20 pages.

Overall i liked the story but felt you have to come up with a way to make me care about Sarah and John, if they represent the best of humanity sort of thing, for me to really want the Earth to be saved, otherwise humans suck and the aliens should blow the planet away.

The script had no typographical errors that i could find and seemed technically correct according to script rules but i'm a newbie with those rules so somebody else might see something i don't know about. Thanks for sharing your script.