The Other Side of The River by Joseph Leoni - Drama, International Romance, True Story - This amazing true story entails how one man is forced to leave his home and his country to be with the woman he loves. 131 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice :)

I'm on page 11 and nothing has happened.

There's some guy who is driving to Mexico City.
He's doing border stuff.
He gets to his destination.
He eats.
Sleeps.
Talks on the phone.
Goes to an interview.

I'm bored.

Your script suffers from entering a scene too early and then staying there for a few days.

You should enter a scene as late as possible, and leave as early as possible.

There's nothing to hook me to keep me turning pages, and at 131 pages... this would take a lot of willpower to keep turning.

-Jordan