The Turkey Takeover by Freda Gobbler - Inspired by actual events: When the actual CBS TV Boston Nightly News story focuses on rampaging Wild Turkeys that take over the small town of Woburn, one local man takes a stand that divides the community, even the country. 10 pages  Short, Comedy

Hi writer,

This reminded me of the WKRP in Cincinnati episode where Les Nessman dropped turkeys from a helicopter on Thanksgiving for a marketing ploy, not realizing… turkeys can’t fly.

“One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible! ... Oh, the humanity!" "The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! The crowd is running for their lives!"

Curiously, it also put me in mind of Stranger Things, not sure why, maybe the Camaro. I’m not going to search if this actually happened to the townsfolk of Woburn, wherever that may be, I’ll just take your word for it because truth is always stranger than fiction.

There’s a lot going on for ten pages, quite the ride actually and I found myself rereading a few passages, dialog, etc. but it’s all good, I enjoyed the craziness of it all. Fun story for the theme at hand. Best of luck.

Big Mike most likely would not be one of my friends, and he definitely got what he deserved, but he did utter one of the greatest lines of all time: "...that punk overgrown rooster bastard..."

Just sayin'.

I DID look this up. Kevin is real. The pack he leads is not. (If I found the right video.)

There's a lot going on in this one. Probably too much. I'm not sure any of the TV station related stuff adds to the story, as this is really just Man vs Bird and its allies.

Still, I got some laughs out of it, so I appreciate that.

All in all, a fun story.

Hi Writer

Writing was far too dense and chaotic for me, was a bit of a slog to read. You can clear the waters a lot. Cut out the TV station manager stuff and the scene at work as these don't add anything useful.

Underneath there is a funny story which I like, but it's a bit lost in the rabble.

All the best

First let me say, the turkey thawing in my fridge is now named "Kevin". LOL  This is a pretty cute story that made me smile more than once.  Audrey's attitude toward Big Mike makes me think of the haughty neighbors in Christmas Vacation, "Hey Griswold, where you gonna put a tree that big?"  I agree that some of the dialogue was a little busy, but it didn't take away from the fun of the story.  The ending was a little too graphic for my taste, but Kevin had his revenge.  Good job writer, enjoyed it.  

I liked this and think it would be funny filmed or animated, just needs some work on the ending as it felt a little anti-climactic to me.

Good job.

Was a bit hard too get through at times with the large blocks of action.

Overall it was cute script with "kevin" leaving his mark on BIG MIKE.

Gave me few laughs

Good job on entering

Ahoy writer,

I have to say, I thought this was drawn out and kinda tedious. I just look for an entertaining read with some entertaining characters. So yea - things got a bit nuts, I thought some lines were a bit cheesy. But methinks the problem is-- it's like you had a mission, and that was to cram in as much info as possible in ten pages. The ending was just "Meh" for me. Not bad by any means - feel free to voodoo doll me, just tryin' to help. Best of Irish luck! :)-Andrea

Hello,

So it's Big Mike against Kevin. I think their feud is introduced incorrectly somewhat, there's no tension at the beginning. Maybe you could show the connection Kevin has with Big Mike before Kevin is out there on the loose.

I was on page 4, wondering what this story is really about. I got to the end and see that the story is sweet, but buried under a lot of action I think.

Hey, you wrote and submitted! Where's my script? Nowhere. Congrats on submitting and thanks for participating.

Writer,

This was pretty good. Another reference to current politics in here - Rachel Maddow, and the last name Carlson. Hmm. Anyway, I thought this was pretty good! I like the back and forth of the station people — solid fucking gold! Thought the buildup was pretty good as well, but the ending left me wanting more. Something more satisfying than what you have anyway. Overall, good effort!

Steve