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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Romantic Comedy Scripts  /  Take it to heart.
Posted by: Don, January 29th, 2023, 11:47am
Take it to heart. by Henry Houdini Mame - Short, Rom Com - A glimpse into a romantic spark shows different ideas to finding the one. 4 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice :)
Posted by: steven8, January 31st, 2023, 4:58am; Reply: 1
I liked the story.  I thought it was sweet and cute.  I think you really did catch the chemistry between your two characters.  What I think though, is you sometimes put dialogue in as action text.  Read through it again.  it happened a few times.
Posted by: PKCardinal, July 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm; Reply: 2
Agreeing with Steven on this one. Good short story with a fun point to make.

Definitely need to spend some time cleaning the format up. You have dialogue in the action blocks and action in the dialogue blocks.

Clean it up, and you'll have a nice script that someone might just want to shoot.
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