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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Romantic Comedy  /  Sort of a Chicago Love Story
Posted by: Don, September 23rd, 2023, 9:48am
Sort of a Chicago Love Story by Scott Sawitz - Romantic Comedy - Five years after a college hookup, a comic and an investment banker reconnect and spend a night to see if their connection in college was for one night or eternity. 101 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: eldave1, September 24th, 2023, 11:27am; Reply: 1
PAGE ONE

FADE IN:


Quoted Text
EXT. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN AT MADISON - NIGHT

Establishing.

The night before graduation.


In the header you don't need at Madison

You don't need Establishing... Instead use that line to describe what we are looking at.

Night before graduation should really be a SUPER


Quoted Text
INT. DORM LOBBY - NIGHT

The sound of a woman sobbing radiates.


Go - Noun - Verb - Object

e.g.,

A WOMAN'S  SOB echoes in the room

GRACE DALTON (22) looks around.


Quoted Text
She has long, dark hair, soul piercing eyes and an impossibly
posh British accent.


Soul pirecing eyes is a bit tropey.

What is she looking around at ?
Does her hair color matter?

Push yourself here - give us a description that really gives us some insight into your character.

I like your dialogue.


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