The Laughing Fisherman (was The Non-Entity) by John Stone (Stoneyscript) writing as Pizza Guy - Short, Horror - A groupie finds herself lost in the fog after a night out to see her favorite band. - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This was easier to follow than the original OWC version. I was still pulled into and had empathy for Marina. I liked this ending better than the original "just a dream" ending. This had a "just a dream or was it?" ending. I like that it was up in the air for post-viewing discussion. It was like the Wizard of Oz in that respect. You're in good company.

The only input I can give is that at the end, she had an image inside her mind. This borders on Tell, don't Show. I think you need to clarify more of what we see since her mind can't actually be filmed. I'm guessing a semi-transparent overlay of the laughing fisherman over her view of the room. This clarification brings it back fully to Show, don't Tell. It's nitpicky since any director can interpret your meaning but it's worth mentioning.

Thanks Michael.

I will take that possibility on board when I extend this fantasy horror.