When a body crashes into her moving car, a female casanova fears retaliation from the town Sheriff and goes on an escapade with a corpse.

Sam, I think you need to give us a bit more info to make this logline more effective.
I'm intrigued for sure...

Is this along the lines of Weekend at Bernie's?
Comedy/Thriller?

Thanks LC,

Yes it is a Dark comedy/Thriller. Other than a corpse being a plot device as in Weekend At Bernie's, there's no other relation. Closer to Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Swiss Army Men, and Sean of the Dead in terms of similarity.

As to the "MORE" there's a lot I want to give. Could you elaborate on what makes you want more. As in what is missing?

A few elements of note:
- the corpse is mangled (missing a limb)
- The story lasts from dusk to dawn
- The protagonist is being chased for most of the movie
- There's a pre existing discord between the protagonist and antagonist prior the story taking place.

Are any of these elements potent as to the missing info?

Dark Comedy Thriller - terrific.

Okay, does she run over this guy?
At the moment the body crashing into her car makes it sound like an already dead corpse is thrown at her car/already dead. Under what circumstances does this happen? Is someone trying to set her up/frame her for a crime? What's her profession? Is she jjust out driving one night on a lonely dark road?

A Casanova typically pursues women while a femme fatale lures men.
What's the link to the story here?

What is her story?
Who's after her and why?
From dusk to dawn is a good ticking clock but we need to know more.

I have no clue at the moment how the parts link to the whole.
We need to know your character's goal, what's at stake for your character, and the end goal.

Sam, where'd you go?

My comments and questions are not criticism for the sake of it, they're to help you perfect your logline. I hope you come back. :)

Her being chased is the key, we need to know why her, what did she do?

Hi LC!

I just came home actually (EST). Oh no, I love everything you said! Someone could say it totally sucks, and my answer would be, "Awesome tell me why!"

I read your initial reply on the go and have been mulling over many ideas. I appreciate all comments - the hardest thing to get is someone's honest opinion. And with it, you can achieve so much.

I have all the answers you've asked, some probably not the desired ones, as the story goes in a different direction. I'm currently attempting to see how I can answer these questions with the logline.

I labeled her a Casanova as she isn't a femme fatale.

Femme Fatal "An alluring and seductive woman, especially one who leads men into compromising and dangerous situations". I don't like that negative connotation attached to a femme fatale of them manipulating men. Rather I see her (my protagonist) as someone who has many lovers and seduces the opposite sex with ease.

Oh yes to get to the point, this is what I'm working with currently:

An out-of-the-rut female casanova has her efforts squandered when she becomes entangled with a corpse, fearing retaliation from her long-standing discord with the Sheriff, She decides to take the corpse with her on this night to remember.

there are a few more questions I wanna answer. I'm just looking to keep things simple and clean.

Cool, I'm glad you didn't disappear in a huff.

Sadly, I'm still not getting it though.

Out of what rut?
Her efforts to do what?
How'd she end up with a corpse?
Why is she taking it with her?

You need to explain in plain English what this story is about.

Edit: Is the corpse a previous lover? Is she going to be accused of bumping him off, hence why the sheriff is after her? Or is he after her cause she's a black widow? Suspicions around her and her past lovers dropping off the peg in the past, but never proven?

Indeed, I agree. Alright, let me get to work.

EDIT: this will take some work. I have some good ones, but they are too long. I need to concise it. Will have to get back at it first thing tomorrow.

I'm also guessing you might mean 'in a rut'.

Yes, oh, and before I hit the hay, here's another, maybe like, attempt 85, really. xD.

After a female casanova gets into a car wreck while under the influence with the son of the Sheriff, a jumper kills himself by jumping onto her car moving car, with the blood trail leading to her, she decides there’s no other choice but to take the corpse along for the ride.

Now you're getting somewhere! :)
Needs streamlining but I know so much more about what your movie is about now!

Tell me one more thing : where are they going?

Sam,

After reading your first 14 pages and the logline above, I think you need to make the relationship a little more palpable between the Sheriff and the girl within those first 14 pages.

Example:  Sheriff threatens her to stay away from her son or else.  Her son shows up at the garage late at night.  The Sheriff drives by on patrol and sees the two being intimate.  After her son leaves,  the Sheriff starts to follow the girl on the road.  She notices and loses the Sheriff because a forgotten bottle of booze rolls out from under the seat or a bag of pot her dad accidentally left. Then the guy jumps off the bridge onto her car.   May not be the best example, but things go from bad to worse.

I closed the script before I realized you had taken down the post and can't remember their names.  Also, she seems like the type to have a cheat for her interlock device. Lol.  

Another idea that hit me is she has all these booty calls, but in reality, guys are coming to her garage to secretly learn how to work on cars.  Maybe, both? Lol.

Took a shot at your logline.

A female grease monkey known for her playboy attitude takes a suicided corpse on the run as the town Sheriff searches for a reason to lock them up over a personal vendetta.

Good luck with it!

Oooh, I feel another logline suggestion coming on. Let me sleep on it.  Will throw in my two cents worth in the a. m.  :)

Kevin, where is the link to the script?

He took it down.  It was in,  Works In Progress.

Okedoke, thanks for that Kevin.

You're welcome! I probably should have just PM him to not cause confusion.

Yeah I decided to just post the whole thing in a week or so.

Will work on the logline before though. Lots of food for thought.

Well, it’s morning so here’s my two cents worth as promised:

After an alcohol-fueled night out, a young woman encounters a suicidal man who steps in front of her speeding vehicle. With her checkered past, multiple run-ins with the local Sheriff  and now a bloody trail leading directly to her, she makes the fateful decision to flee, taking along the corpse as well as her drunken lover, the Sheriff’s son.

Kathy, this is hard to concoct considering none of us are really sure of the plot, but that's pretty good.

Might I suggest so that you're not doubling up on the word sheriff you change the first mention to -
multiple run-ins with the law.

And flee the state border/lines maybe?

Though certain plot details are different, there's definitely a lot to work with.
I'm gonna be getting this done in the next few days. Will get the script posted soon enough if anyone is interested. It's complete but I'm dyslexic, knowing people give up time to read other people scripts I want to make sure I proof read the best I can. If I don't get it done by then will simply post work in progress the first 60 pages or so/ out of 98.

Here's the most recent attempt. It's a combination of wording from people's suggestions and comments.

When a jumper crashes into her moving car, a grease monkey known for her casanova act fears the Sheriff who has been on the prowl ever since she risked the Sheriff’s son's life, she makes a fateful decision to flee with the suicided corpse on this night to remember.