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I read it all but it didn't do anything for me, sorry. Hard for me to offer constructive criticism as this is all over the place. So I'll just say well done for entering.
-Mark
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Good premise. Doesn't make much sense after that. Lots of confusing inconsistencies.
The Scorsese/Sorkin stuff belongs to the comedy genre. It's a reality-breakingly silly idea that they'd be collaborating, and on this film, and it doesn't work in a thriller/drama.
The conflict doesn't really go anywhere and it doesn't really reveal anything about the characters.
Might play better as a dark comedy, a la Swimming with Sharks.
Tricky to follow at times - maybe a rush to submit...
Not sure what to make of the whole Scorsese bit, any ‘director’ could have worked. Chad’s reaction to having a gun pulled on him felt unrealistic. Pity as the idea had potential but it just didn’t develop beyond a disgruntled/insane cabby taking revenge for not getting a job. Story needed more fleshing out for me - just didn’t seem to take us anywhere.
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Why does Chad wonder who else was up for this part? Why is Kyle angry at Chad, when he should be angry at Scorsese, considering the way that Scorsese treated him? And why do they use the word terminate, especially when referring to traffic? These questions are why it didn't work for me.