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I have one of those "special problems" now - I think I have a solid concept/premise - but am stuck on the execution.
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Look carefully at your keyboard. The next letter you're supposed to type is right there. Just have to figure out which one it is, then the ones following it.
Simple, right?  |
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Cows Attack! by Doug Tesch - Short, Family, Children, Comedy - The Far Side meets Mars Attacks. 10 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Second Chance by Christopher J Vecchio - Dramedy - Diane is almost 50 and looking for love along with searching for her birth parents. Will she have a second chance of happiness? 111 pages - pdf format
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Just a Load of Baloney by Kirsten James - Short, Dramedy - When a student saves another from a bully they end up having to face their own fears and stereotypes of each other. 8 pages - pdf format
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Dishes of Color by Fausto Lucignani - Drama - After learning from an elderly Italian woman the secrets of Italian cooking, a strong-willed African-American home aide opens a small restaurant in an Italian neighborhood, unaware that the local Mafia bosses deeply abhor the color of her skin. 107 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Oligopoly |
Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Today, 7:18pm |
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Oligopoly by Tyler Snow - Drama - A David Simon-esque drama about six super powered families fighting for control of the largest drug territory in the world. 60 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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I agree! Awesome work! I remember that short too. One of my favorites from that OWC.  |
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| Awesome work. Something to be proud of. |
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Thanks to Mark and his posting of Cyborn - the comic, I ventured down the rabbit hole and re-wrote Tunnel Rat into comic format. Hyper Epics liked it, we pitched it to an illustrator, and, one month later, posted.
https://www.hyperepics.com/tunnel-rat
I've already rewritten four others and have another being drawn already. I hope you like it!
+++++++
Don's Edit:
Link to the OWC entry - Tunnel Rat - http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1533388682/s-0/
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In my experience collaborating with a few creative people, the problem is people have really great ideas but struggle to form them into compelling stories with satisfying endings. Someone could say (which someone did to me recently) “How about a guy with a tumour on his head that holds the cure to cancer, but he goes on the run because to extract the cure would kill him. Everyone is after it and he can’t hide anywhere. ” Great I said, it’s like Fugitive meets Running Man, tell me more. So he did and it started off great but started to fall apart at the middle. The ending wasn’t even a consideration at that point so he just trailed off at what would be around page 50.
So until you have a beginning, middl |
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I can’t tell you the right way to make the setup your own, but I can tell you how I did it in my current draft.
Instead of a museum or traditional gallery, I have some eccentric old-money gazillionaire who patronizes artists. The “curator” is showing the new batch of artists the ropes by explaining some of the pieces made by the artists before them.
At this point it is still pretty half-baked as a wraparound, but already it’s not the same as the TV show. |
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"you create your own art and you create your own stories"
the series did that everytime, to invent a new story and picture. And you said the challenge also demands the curator introduction. So, no bullshit, give me an example to understand.
edit: That's what you were saying about the intro:
"The host, Rod Serling, would introduce three paintings per episode and each painting had a story attached to it.
For your feature-length script, you're doing the same set-up: a host will introduce between three and five paintings. |
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Sean, right?,...
If you want an introduction through a curator and the segments about the art works, then, whats our own take?
To me it's exactly the show as an feature. Can you give an example, please? |
You write your own introductions, you create your own art and you create your own stories. |
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Sean, right?,...
If you want an introduction through a curator and the segments about the art works, then, whats our own take?
To me it's exactly the show as an feature. Can you give an example, please? |
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Hi everyone,
Just want to let everyone know that a re-write for Inescapable is coming soon. It's mostly to clean some things up. I'll post it soon.
Matthew Lincoln |
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As a result, if I want something in the script, I'm going to put it in there and if you want to change that, you're going to have to buy it from me.
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Thanks 
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I do have a longer written "pitch" but thought I was limited by the parameters of this site to one line. |
You should be able to add more information and keep it to one line. The 'one line' thing isn't a valid excuse. |
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I already got my stories. Just need to put it down on paper.
Gabe |
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Thank you for the feedback. I was using Screenwriter Software that auto-populated characters in caps. I do have a longer written "pitch" but thought I was limited by the parameters of this site to one line. I'll check to see if I can upload the longer version. Cheers Alan |
You're welcome - best of luck |
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10-4 boss... I got nuthin but time now, so I'm in. |
Had a feeling you might have a change of heart, now. So, naturally, we can expect your draft in two or three days, right? =) |
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Feature screenplay utilizing three to five vignettes with a wraparound segment included.
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10-4 boss... I got nuthin but time now, so I'm in. |
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Doubleblind (reply) |
Posted by: AlanM
Date Posted: Yesterday, 2:43pm |
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| Thank you for the feedback. I was using Screenwriter Software that auto-populated characters in caps. I do have a longer written "pitch" but thought I was limited by the parameters of this site to one line. I'll check to see if I can upload the longer version. Cheers Alan |
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Zaltha (reply) |
Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Yesterday, 2:29pm |
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Chris: you may have uploaded the wrong version.
Title page is a mess, there is no opening scene heading, a blank page at the beginning, etc. |
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Don't do this:
Quoted Text EXT. WOMEN’S CORRECTIONAL FACILITY - SALEM, OREGON - NIGHT (SUMMER 197 . Douglas firs dominate a moist daisy-chain of illumination encircling barbed security fences and rain-streaked barracks. |
Do this:
EXT. WOMEN’S CORRECTIONAL FACILITY - NIGHT
Douglas firs dominate a moist daisy-chain of illumination
encircling barbed security fences and rain-streaked
barracks.
SUPER: SALEM, OREGON - SUMMER, 1978
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For example; their hands were tied behind their backs. I was frustrated when the decision was made to have their hands tied in front for the convenience of the actors. |
Well... that's just ridiculous. |
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Hey Adam,
just gave this a read, here some notes I took:
- First of all, proof read this. Lots of typos (several ones in each sentence) and lots of grammar issues too. Also lots of format problems. I'll not get into details as they're just too many and you probably know you have some work to do here. I'm not sure, but I would guess you're not a native english speaker after reading this.
- I don't like Jamie talking to herself all the time to get the story across. That's a cheap way of doing this, because she's not talking to herself but to the reader here. Try to find a more subtle way of letting us know her boyfriend died and she couldn't help him. Why not let her visit his tomb or something? Just and idea, I guess you...
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***WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS***
Chris,
Thank you so much for checking the film out and taking the time to let me know what you think. It really means a lot.
I can’t really say I disagree with anything you’ve said. The only thing I can really add is to say some of your points were addressed in the script. For example; their hands were tied behind their backs. I was frustrated when the decision was made to have their hands tied in front for the convenience of the actors.
I certainly don’t want to pass blame. Every film has flaws no matter how hard you try. Under the circumstances, I’m confident everyone did their best.
I accept all the reviews; good, bad, or indifferent. The only thing that has really disap...
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I haven't seen Predator 2 in some time, but it always struck me as the most logical progression from the previous film. They kept the plot simple but not a carbon copy of the original. The biggest change is in the scenery, which seems superficial, but the city setting provides just enough new elements for a fresh dynamic. You don't learn much more about the Predator, but you get to see the spaceship, which is a taste. Isn't the character better off mysterious? A responsible follow-up, I think, albeit not the most memorable.
SPOILERS FOR ONLY THIS PREDATOR FILM: I guess a grey area? There is a Predator character that is, er, sympathetic to the human cause. However, it does not meaningfully "team up" with human |
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CandyCellers (reply) |
Posted by: ChrisV
Date Posted: Yesterday, 11:26am |
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I'm no expert and waiting for my first script to post. I read the first six pages and noticed spelling errors. I get the dialogue uses a lot of slang, but I feel the ACTION LINES should use proper grammar/spelling. As I said, I'm no expert and still finding grammar and spelling issues even after going over my script 3-4 times.
ALSO...if you're using Amazon's free Story Writer, I've noticed after I corrected errors, I go back and the original errors reappear days later. >
GOOD LUCK! |
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Flytrap (reply) |
Posted by: Anon
Date Posted: Yesterday, 8:21am |
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...this "cheap as shit" vacation house for $175/night outside Winter Park.
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I did the season in Winter Park. Loved it. Are you writing from experience, Sean? |
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Showing 1 - 30 (13037 results found)
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