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Search Results - Recent posts as of less than a minute ago
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Showing 1 - 30 (13687 results found)
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Badman   (reply) Posted by: HyperMatt
Date Posted: 2 minutes ago
Yes, the art was quite good.
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Suspiria (2018)   (reply) Posted by: Demento
Date Posted: Today, 4:34pm
This movie had something, but it wasn't quite all there.

The finale should have been more spectacular. It felt very contained and clumsy. Especially in the way it was filmed.
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Badman   (reply) Posted by: Warren
Date Posted: Today, 4:14pm
Congrats on another one inked.

Came out great
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Thursday Girl   (reply) Posted by: Warren
Date Posted: Today, 4:11pm
Hi Ben,

Thanks, it's really gone nut with the views on that one. I'm looking forward to saying it has a quarter of a million views.

You should get Don to put What a Good Boy Does on the site.

On to the review. I did read it yesterday but didn’t have time to circle back and write a review. I also started Toxic and hope to finish that today.

Does the title link to the story in a way I'm not quite understanding?

I'm personally a fan of a FADE IN and FADE OUT, but it’s not a big deal.

The first thing that really stands out is the camera directing, I'm sure you’ve heard it all before but unless you are planning on filming this yourself there really isn’t much point. I'm not saying it’s wrong or a 'rule',...

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Badman   (reply) Posted by: JEStaats
Date Posted: Today, 2:04pm
The comic was posted over the weekend if you would like to compare how panel description is translated to art. https://www.hyperepics.com/badman
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Writing rituals/plotting   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 12:49pm

Quoted from Angry Bear

Grammarly...  


Case in point
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Writing rituals/plotting   (reply) Posted by: khamanna
Date Posted: Today, 12:26pm
This is a great thread. I think Dave's advice should hang somewhere on the site, separately. But how to do that? Too bad there's no special place for gold advice collection. Or maybe we could create a thread for it or something?

I'd put there Dave's response and add what Pia said about timing - if I'm not mistaken, that's how I understood that post. Because I do something similar - watch for the super long scenes and super short scenes and cut/add to even the scenes out. Short don't bother me as much as super long scenes. I think they might wear the audience down.
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Writing rituals/plotting   (reply) Posted by: Angry Bear
Date Posted: Today, 12:17pm

Quoted from eldave1


Yeah, Grammerly is very useful for me.

Grammarly...  
Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
Writing rituals/plotting   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 12:02pm

Quoted from The Dark Horse
ELDAVE -
I started using grammarly too. I thought my grammar was fine with word then I used grammarly and discovered how atrocious I’ve been.

Some other things people do (during the proof read stage): reading it backwards word by word and reading it word by word with your finger underneath. I also look at the PDF and search if I’ve used certain words more than once. I keep an eye on the amount of times I use: then, silence, beat, moment. I’m definitely a “then” guy.

All great tips here though.

DREAMSCALE -
Ha I expected at least one person to say “cocaine and hookers” or along those lines.

ANGRY BEAR -
Apparently that’s what Kirsten Smith and Karen McCullah do. They wa
...

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Suspiria (2018)   (reply) Posted by: ReaperCreeper
Date Posted: Today, 9:53am
I watched the movie with my wife just last night and we both enjoyed it immensely. I actually didn't feel the running time at all, although I did raise my eyebrows when I saw "152 minutes" on the back cover. That said, I feel that I would feel the movie's run-time if were to I re-watch it, especially with the old man's subplot (which I did think was effective; I just don't know if it would hold up twice).

I also thought it was unnecessary to have Tilda Swinton play not one, not two, but three roles (one of them male) for no apparent narrative purpose whatsoever. They seemed to have her do it simply to gratuitously show off her acting prowess where that amount of time and effort could've gone to other things in...

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1 (100.00%)
Marmalade Sunrise   (reply) Posted by: Fais85
Date Posted: Today, 7:25am
Hey Nate,

This is really fun read. Reminded me of "Safety Not Guaranteed". It has all the ingredients at right place. Kudos for the writing.

Now, what I will suggest is,

Right now PETER is not coming out as an complete asshole in the beginning. The opening scene can be changed in a way where we can see, he don't care for other's feelings or he is stubborn. That way the climax will complete his character arc perfectly.

If possible, he should hurt BENNETT with his words more about his wife and daughter near the pole. Like it's a final confrontation between those two and BENNETT is devastated by it.

After that when PETER is talking and apologizing to Em, she can encourage him to go and apologize to...

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Word-Hits
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Writing rituals/plotting   (reply) Posted by: The Dark Horse
Date Posted: Today, 6:15am
STEVIE -
I’m trying out something similar to what you’re doing - with the notebook anyways. Admittedly, I can’t help but think my process is different every time. I’d love to have a more streamlined process. Something that works every time.

MAX RUDDOCK -
Yeah in times of trouble I go to Brian Koppelman and Creative Spark. But I dunno, I know most screenwriting books are bullshit but at the same time - I like to fill myself up with different perspectives on it all. See what works for me.

SAM -
“Into the Woods” is a good read. I recommend Billy Mernit’s “Writing the Romantic Comedy” (regardless of if you like the genre, it’s a great screenplay book) and “101 Habits of Highly Successful Screenwrite...

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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
Writing rituals/plotting   (reply) Posted by: The Dark Horse
Date Posted: Today, 6:10am
ELDAVE -
I started using grammarly too. I thought my grammar was fine with word then I used grammarly and discovered how atrocious I’ve been.

Some other things people do (during the proof read stage): reading it backwards word by word and reading it word by word with your finger underneath. I also look at the PDF and search if I’ve used certain words more than once. I keep an eye on the amount of times I use: then, silence, beat, moment. I’m definitely a “then” guy.

All great tips here though.

DREAMSCALE -
Ha I expected at least one person to say “cocaine and hookers” or along those lines.

ANGRY BEAR -
Apparently that’s what Kirsten Smith and Karen McCullah do. They watch movies with...

Click here to read more ...
Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
The Extraterrestrial Highway   (reply) Posted by: _ghostwriter
Date Posted: Today, 5:23am
It's the eye of the Tiger, it's the thrill of the fight...


Quoted Text
About the view screen, I didn’t want a square screen like Spock & Kirk had on Star Trek. I design it so the audience can get some great views I placed in the story – especially the space battles.


Gotcha.  I think scripts are supposed to be a little detailed but not too detailed so the director could put his/her touch on it.  Give them enough to go with on the important details and they can do what they want with the rest.


Quoted Text
I admit the intro is sluggish, but I wanted to get my two main character introduced with some of their quirks then slam the shock in during the build-up. Also in Sci-Fi, we must write some unusual,
...

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"Toxic" - comedy pilot WIP Posted by: AlsoBen
Date Posted: Today, 1:06am
Hi guys,

I wrote this draft in a bust of energy a few days ago. I'm too close to it to really evaluate it at this stage, but I feel like it lacks any real "set pieces" of either comedy or drama. Only thing I really like about it is it's a quick read.

Logline: A man who's life is spiraling out of control falls deeply for someone who is completely wrong for him, and must re-invent himself completely (or at least pretend to).

It's kind of inspired by will they/won't they classic sitcom relationships - this one is a "they shouldn't" - I dunno, I wrote it quickly).

Link herehttps://www.dropbox.com/s/khidghc6jdecpuy/TOXIC%20%282%29.pdf?dl=0

tell me what you think
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1 (100.00%)
To The Last Detail   (reply) Posted by: AlsoBen
Date Posted: Today, 12:54am
Just some little stuff, but it kind of sticks out:

"INT. DAY/ FUNERAL HOME"  should be location THEN time of day, for all slugs. eg INT. CAT HOUSE - NIGHT

"ELSA walks in. She is not wearing black, or sunglasses and she looks very tired." Why would you specifically describe what she ISN'T wearing? I know it's a funeral home, but it's better to have "positive" descriptions of what she IS wearing, rather than isn't -- leave no specifics upturned.

"Elsa looks around, nervously playing with the ears of her folder" Ears?

"A couple of days later"  - how do we know??

I'm halfway through the script and the words "not customary" etc have...

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Thursday Girl   (reply) Posted by: AlsoBen
Date Posted: Yesterday, 11:51pm
Thanks Warren - P.S I watched your Insomnia short - amazing. 200k views on Youtube????
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OWC!   (reply) Posted by: Zack
Date Posted: Yesterday, 10:08pm

Quoted from Mr. Blonde


Shh... It's a secret...


There's some super subtle hinting going on here.

Zack
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OWC!   (reply) Posted by: Mr. Blonde
Date Posted: Yesterday, 9:58pm

Quoted from ajr
I dare ya!


Shh... It's a secret...
Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
The Extraterrestrial Highway   (reply) Posted by: CrackedAces
Date Posted: Yesterday, 9:16pm
@_ghostwriter

Hello Ghostie, I’m doing _____ fine. Thanks for asking.

Thanks also for taking the time to comment. Reading between the lines of your comments, it appears to me that you have experience or knowledge of both sides of the camera.

I agree with your statement “there are no street corners in space.” A person has to be a space traveler or have a degree in astronomy to navigate from home to the corner liquor store in interstellar space.

A prominent object is used or relied on in motion pictures. The prominent object can be a chair in a room, a landmark in the city, a street sign, etc. But in interstellar space somewhere between two star systems, it’s easy to get lost on the way to the liquor store....

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The Minister Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Yesterday, 4:36pm
The Minister by Jaime Villarreal - Short, Horror - Pastor John keeps a dark secret locked in his barn. His wife is about to discover the thin line between love and madness. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
A Conscience is a Terrible Thing to Waste Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Yesterday, 4:36pm
A Conscience is a Terrible Thing to Waste by Scott Nelson - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy -  About to inherit a large sum of money, a man allows himself to be the agent of someone's death. He discovers that there is a price to pay when he grapples with his own conscience. 13 pages - pdf format

For production consideration - No comments required
Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
Boys Boarding School Massacre Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Yesterday, 4:34pm
Boys Boarding School Massacre by Peter Zaragoza - Horror, Gay, Campy Comedy - A horror, Gaysploitation film chock-full of scantly dressed schoolboys, campy humor, and some genuine frights.  The boys of La Cruz Boarding School are terrorized by a bitchy, seven-foot nun and a crazed Grim Reaper swinging his scythe of death. 93 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
A Dog Wish   (reply) Posted by: Marcela
Date Posted: Yesterday, 4:28pm
Hi Simon,
I got intrigued by the logline so I started reading. I really felt sorry for the boy and got angry with the mother who seemed to be so unreasonably stuck in her ways! I mean, we live in 20th century - playing in the garden would only speed up any child's recovery. So I don't blame the poor kid for wanting to be a dog.
The final twist is somehow sinister and kinda strange. To be honest, it's probably better for the boy(now a dog) to be taken away from his family, even though he seems to be anxious about it. So the ending didn't really work for me.
But overall your script is based on a very interesting idea and could turn into a nice film script for children!
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OWC!   (reply) Posted by: ajr
Date Posted: Yesterday, 3:46pm

Quoted from Mr. Blonde


Yeah... About that... =)


I dare ya!



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Thursday Girl   (reply) Posted by: Warren
Date Posted: Yesterday, 3:28pm
Hey mate, long time no see.

I'll get into this today at some point.

Welcome back.
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Thursday Girl   (reply) Posted by: AlsoBen
Date Posted: Yesterday, 1:20pm
Thanks for getting this up! I haven't been active (writing or reading) in a while but my IRL circumstances have changed and I'd like to get back into the swing of reading and reviewing. This is my first short in over a year. Thanks everyone!
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Grosvenor Arms   (reply) Posted by: Fais85
Date Posted: Yesterday, 12:48pm
Hey... Happy to know that the suggestions helped.


Quoted from Zombie Sean
Good thing I have a plan B.....
This alternate ending that I have would include the characters in the end more.


Sounds exciting! Let me know whenever you re-write it. I would love to read.
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Grosvenor Arms   (reply) Posted by: Zombie Sean
Date Posted: Yesterday, 12:10pm
Hey Faisal!

Thanks for giving this a read, I greatly appreciate the time you've put into it and to write your comments. So happy to hear that you thought that the characters were nice and well written, and I can see how there are similarities between some of the characters.

You make a good point about removing the family scene. I think that that would be a good idea and would decrease the character count/budget even more. You make good points about how we are already told that he's a good family man.

You guessed correctly about the drill bit. I tried to make it subtle enough and not spoon-feed the audience too much but this has confused more readers than I would have liked.

You're the third person to have told me...

Click here to read more ...
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The Boy Who Defied Hitler Posted by: Don
Date Posted: Yesterday, 11:47am
The Boy Who Defied Hitler by Greg Lewis - Drama, Historical - A young German boy falls in love with a Jewish girl amidst a thriving swing culture and the impending Second World War that threatens to throw them apart. 102 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

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Showing 1 - 30 (13687 results found)


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