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Search Results - Recent posts as of less than a minute ago
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Showing 1 - 30 (11266 results found)
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Dead Sea   (reply) Posted by: Lightfoot
Date Posted: Today, 8:51pm
My two cents ...

I loved the opening scene to this, well done on that.

You will need Supers, at least for when we first go to Daniel's story, you do have the year in the slug line, but I think it will be better as a super. I think you'll only need this the first time we go back too, once we get back to Daniel's story again we will already know what era it is. You do mention that there is a calendar on page 10, but unless that specific date ( August 23rd, 1963) is marked off somehow, we can't tell what date it actually is .... if this is even necessary.

Page 25, I'm not 100% sure on this one, but I think there is a certain way to do phone calls, not sure though ... format wise I mean.

Nitpick here:  If...

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Split (2016)   (reply) Posted by: Demento
Date Posted: Today, 7:25pm

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
The sexual aspect wasn't for you. It was for the Director!!


Just to be clear, what you are trying to say is that M. Night Shyamalan is a pervert and he was somehow trying to live out some sort of a fantasy he had through this movie? Hence the staging of young girls being locked in a basement and being half-naked for a portion of the film.
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The Refugees   (reply) Posted by: GregoryM
Date Posted: Today, 7:14pm
Fausto thats a great question.

The feature involves 3 languages - english, israeli, and arabic.

In an early draft the distinction was made, but i took out all references to language in the finalized draft.

Even though it could be useful and descriptive, and some drama could be milked from it at different points, i chose to cut language entirely?

Why? A few reasons. First as a spec, by deleting parentheticals or extra prose it saves space. Its also ultimately unnecessary. Look at larry fergusons draft of the hunt for red october. Theres no indication or reference to them speaking russian vs english. Its something better left up to the director. For the sake of selling a script it isnt important.

For shorts...

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Close To Sunset   (reply) Posted by: Marcela
Date Posted: Today, 6:49pm
Hey Steve,
I had to read this twice to make sense of the story, I guess there's quite many characters for a short script.
On page 2 I loved how 'The SWING silently sways in the breeze'. Such lovely little details paint the atmosphere really well.
Little typo on page 4 - REALTY sigh should be SIGN

Like somebody already suggested, Jack being violent to his wife may be a step too far. I mean if any twat ever pulled my hair, I would report him! On the other hand, the script is about a dark side of a family, so we can assume that they are all somehow damaged and a little bit of physical violence may be a part of their daily routine.
The ending is a little unclear for me. Who murdered Samuel? My best guess is that the mother l...

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American Cannibal - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: Steven
Date Posted: Today, 6:27pm
Thanks for the reply. I think I've fixed the issues.
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American Cannibal - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: James McClung
Date Posted: Today, 6:23pm
I knew this was an American Psycho tribute (?) going in, so the big chunks of text didn't bother me. I read them in Bateman's voice and they seemed to flow pretty nicely. The dialogue is honestly pretty decent considering the danger of emulating Brett Easton Ellis, an effort that seems practically destined to fail. I think it's a little more simplistic than the source material, but still, not bad.

That said, the script reads very flat narratively speaking. No conflict to speak of other than perhaps Alice dropping the meat on the floor. That seems to resolve itself pretty quickly. There was a hint of it towards the end when his friends find the hand in the fridge, but no one seems to give a shit. In any case, I don't think whether or ...

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American Cannibal - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: Steven
Date Posted: Today, 6:05pm
Thanks. I finally figured out the ending and it will lead into something feature-worthy.
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American Cannibal - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: PedroS
Date Posted: Today, 5:56pm
Great one!
Bateman reminds me strongly of Hannibal.
The end was somehow obvious but the dialogs was absolutely great.
You did a good work on this!

Pedro
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RIP Neil Fingleton/Aka Mag The Mighty...   (reply) Posted by: stevie
Date Posted: Today, 4:23pm
I have never seen the show but I am currently on the 3rd book in the series and only read the scenes about Mag's death in it the other day. Funny how this random stuff appears in life
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Scripts of the Scarefest Script Club 2WC   (reply) Posted by: Steven
Date Posted: Today, 3:57pm

Quoted from DanC


You know, so am I.

Steven, you know, you could go to fan sites, perhaps there's a section that allows you to submit fan fiction and you could have other fans read the screenplay.  

Who knows, I've even heard of jobs coming from that.  I certainly wouldn't expect that, but, it sure would be cool.  

I'm afraid to do any fan fiction merely b/c it's such an investment of time, and the odds that they will okay it are slim to none.  I have an idea for both the Legend of Korra and Frozen.  And I know they have "ended" the Korra/Last Airbender universe and based on my other stories, could you ever see Disney letting me near Frozen?

Which i
...

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Our Doors Are Always Open   (reply) Posted by: Fausto
Date Posted: Today, 3:37pm
DDF, talking about Horror...I don't follow this genre, however, I think that the script is brilliant. A little polishing (slugs, names) and it's ready for production. It would make a really scaring short.
Good luck with this.
Fausto
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Scripts of the Scarefest Script Club 2WC   (reply) Posted by: DanC
Date Posted: Today, 3:31pm

Quoted from Steven
I think I'm about ready to submit my final draft. I've done as much as I could, at least I believe so. Curious to see the new comments.


You know, so am I.

Steven, you know, you could go to fan sites, perhaps there's a section that allows you to submit fan fiction and you could have other fans read the screenplay.  

Who knows, I've even heard of jobs coming from that.  I certainly wouldn't expect that, but, it sure would be cool.  

I'm afraid to do any fan fiction merely b/c it's such an investment of time, and the odds that they will okay it are slim to none.  I have an idea for both the Legend of Korra and Frozen.  And I know they have "...

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Scripts of the Scarefest Script Club 2WC   (reply) Posted by: Steven
Date Posted: Today, 3:26pm
I think I'm about ready to submit my final draft. I've done as much as I could, at least I believe so. Curious to see the new comments.
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Cry No More - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: DanC
Date Posted: Today, 3:22pm

Quoted from JEStaats
Hi Pedro - I just finished and you should be proud of getting this submitted. Realizing that English is your second language, do you have a friend or coworker that could proof read for you? Aside from all the typos, grammar, etc., I see where you wanted to go with your story. For the limitations of this challenge, I think if you trim some characters and simplify the settings, you could have a linear script. Don't give up and let's see your revision.


I agree.  English as a second language is very hard.  Hell, according to Grammarly, I don't particularly speak or write English well, and it's my first language.  So, don't give up.

Perhaps you could use Grammarly.  It...

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Red Rover - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: JEStaats
Date Posted: Today, 3:22pm
Hi Dena - Finally got a chance to read this and was hooked until the last page or so. What happened? Did I miss something? I wanted more! Also a little confused on the whole neighbor meeting. What was it about kicking the ball that would keep her safer than Becca? Or was Margie just a bit crazy? And if the cage was open, why didn't Becca just leave?

Love your writing and can't wait to see your revision.
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The Refugees   (reply) Posted by: Fausto
Date Posted: Today, 3:22pm
Gregory,
I like the narrative...I'm very familiar with the issue. However, I have a question...Did you indicate the language they are speaking? Maybe you did and I missed it...I assume they don't speak English (Arabic with English subtitles)? As Eldave 1 has indicated, you need to polish the script. Also, as a short, it's expensive to produce. Good luck with the feature.
My best,
Fausto
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Red Rover - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: Disco Cactus
Date Posted: Today, 3:19pm
Hey Dena, creepy short.

I was a little unsatisfied with the end. It could use more of a payoff. I don't know, I'm sure there is a better way to end this.

I'd drop the police station scene, it doesn't add much besides a little backstory. Instead I'd have Blair confront the crazy neighbor. I feel like this would be more intense.

Not bad though. Good job.

~Zack~
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Scripts of the Scarefest Script Club 2WC   (reply) Posted by: DanC
Date Posted: Today, 3:18pm
I've submitted the rewrite.

I've taken a lot of the comments to heart.  You were right.  It's too hard to cut 70+ pages and still flesh out the story.

So, I've written a prologue.  It gets everyone set up for the movie, explains why the kids care so much.

It's kinds self-contained, but, people will hate the ending.

I hope you like it better and can't wait to read everyone's submission and get and give good feedback.

I just hope you guys can see the potential with the story.  I know I might not express it that well, but, do see a lot for the idea.

Thanks again
Dan
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Immortal Enmity - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: DanC
Date Posted: Today, 3:13pm

Quoted from AnthonyCawood
Hey Dan

It wasn't just the similarity in monsters, it was the fact that you have a bunch of kids defeat the monster and then have to defeat it again in adulthood.

But hey I'm sure you feature has loads of things that are different too;

Anthony


True.  There are some similar elements.  In the prologue, you'll see why the kids get involved.  

I've decided to submit a different short, based on the same movie.

You guys were right, it's too hard to slice 70+ pages from a script and not have any time to set up and flesh out the story.

You also don't understand why he shoots his wife at the end.  He's really convinced that she's th...

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A Cut Above the Rest - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: JEStaats
Date Posted: Today, 2:47pm
Chris - I'm so glad I read your script before reading any of the above comments. I see that it's not intended to be a comedy but it could easily be an outrageous physical comedy if you wanted to go that direction. I agree with many of the comments made above and would've loved to see Chuck be the break out hero in this. I thought that was his path but, dang, gutted instead.

Not sure what I enjoy reading more: Your reviews of my submissions; or your responses to comments of others.
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American Cannibal - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: Steven
Date Posted: Today, 2:06pm

Quoted from Disco Cactus
Alright I'll start with this since I'm vaguely familiar with the movie.

Lot's of chunky action lines. Surely they can be broken up a bit.

Some typo's, but nothing too bad. Should be an easy fix.

I found parts of this interesting, mainly the part with the hooker.

The meat(pun intended) of the story is the dinner scene at the end and unfortunately it's a bit of a let down. It's just all happens too fast.

If I were you I'd have the entire story about Bateman cooking up a tasty meal for the hooker. i feel like it would be more focused and serve the story better.

Good effort and good luck with the rewrite.

~Zack~


Thanks. I finally came up with the damn ending...

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American Cannibal - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: Disco Cactus
Date Posted: Today, 2:03pm
Alright I'll start with this since I'm vaguely familiar with the movie.

Lot's of chunky action lines. Surely they can be broken up a bit.

Some typo's, but nothing too bad. Should be an easy fix.

I found parts of this interesting, mainly the part with the hooker.

The meat(pun intended) of the story is the dinner scene at the end and unfortunately it's a bit of a let down. It's just all happens too fast.

If I were you I'd have the entire story about Bateman cooking up a tasty meal for the hooker. i feel like it would be more focused and serve the story better.

Good effort and good luck with the rewrite.

~Zack~
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Cry No More - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: JEStaats
Date Posted: Today, 1:08pm
Hi Pedro - I just finished and you should be proud of getting this submitted. Realizing that English is your second language, do you have a friend or coworker that could proof read for you? Aside from all the typos, grammar, etc., I see where you wanted to go with your story. For the limitations of this challenge, I think if you trim some characters and simplify the settings, you could have a linear script. Don't give up and let's see your revision.
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Cry No More - SSC2WC   (reply) Posted by: PedroS
Date Posted: Today, 12:42pm
Hey Chris, Hey Anthony,

thank you guys for the nice and wise words.
I'll keep on going and I'll work on the style.

Best wishes & a lot of fun and success,

Pedro
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Oscar - Oscar - Oscar   (reply) Posted by: James McClung
Date Posted: Today, 11:46am
Didn't watch. Totally forgot they were on. Caught up on Planet Earth II instead. Now I get to act cooler than everyone.

Watched the Best Picture flub and Kimmel's opening monologue this morning. The bar was super low, but Kimmel was a decent host, both in terms of jokes and his handling of the last-minute fuck-up... and what a colossal fuck-up that was. Obviously, there're way more important things going on in the world, but for the Academy, it was easily the worst thing that could've gone wrong. They would've been better off if Warren Beatty said "fuck" on the air... speaking of which, how hilarious was that guy's face during the La La Land acceptance speech? He looked like he just launched a nuclear strike by mistake.<...

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Oscar - Oscar - Oscar   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 11:38am

Quoted from Angry Bear
I haven't seen a good movie in theaters in years. I try to go and see highly rated ones, but they still disappoint me. For some reason, I don't seem to be moved by movies anymore.

When I was young, movies seemed larger than life. It took you places. Maybe it's part of getting older, but nowadays, movies are either giant spectacles or or slick looking bores.


Concur. Ironically, IMO there are a ton more quality TV series then there were when I was younger.
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Oscar - Oscar - Oscar   (reply) Posted by: Angry Bear
Date Posted: Today, 11:29am
I haven't seen a good movie in theaters in years. I try to go and see highly rated ones, but they still disappoint me. For some reason, I don't seem to be moved by movies anymore.

When I was young, movies seemed larger than life. It took you places. Maybe it's part of getting older, but nowadays, movies are either giant spectacles or or slick looking bores.
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Split (2016)   (reply) Posted by: Scar Tissue Films
Date Posted: Today, 11:09am
The sexual aspect wasn't for you. It was for the Director!!
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Oscar - Oscar - Oscar Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 11:04am
Did not see all of the nominated pics yet. That being said:

- Hated, hated, hated!!!! Moonlight. My finger was on the turn off button for most of the 4o minutes that I watched it (I finally succumbed at the 40 minute mark). It was boring, unimaginative and painfully slow paced.

- Blah Blah Land - a B- film, best value would have been to wait until it came out for free somewhere.

- Arrival - a logic mess and a rip off of close encounters.

- Manchester by The Sea - more like C-. Sloooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

- Hidden Figures - solid film. In any other year just a worthy nomination. In this year, maybe the best of the bunch.

Hell or High Water (see Hidden Figures - same thoughts)

Have ...

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RIP Neil Fingleton/Aka Mag The Mighty...   (reply) Posted by: James McClung
Date Posted: Today, 9:58am
Damn. RIP Mag the Mighty.
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