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Hi Jayrex,
“I assume the Germans had caught a circus of clowns”. - That’s funny!!!
Is it a ‘circus’ of clowns or a ‘gag’ of clowns?
Never underestimate freedom fighters dressed as clowns...lol. |
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This week's challenge definitely simulates coming into an existing project. That's the mindset I've tried to take through the week.
I haven't had any time to work on the script in the last few days, so it'll come down to whether I can get a good enough polish on it tomorrow.
We'll see.
I'll probably submit early evening tomorrow. |
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Daniel
I read your “Tricks, Lie & Bankhanders”. It was really good. “Rid of Guilt” will be next. |
- Thanks for checking them out. Try to post a few comments on scripts you read here though as it encourages those writers to check out yours in return.
Col. |
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| Interesting story. I'm down the middle on it if I like it or not. It's intriguing. I assume the Germans had caught a circus of clowns and sent them to a concentration camp. It would be visually odd to see, in a good way. I would have liked to have read dialogue, a few words. |
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If there was a salt shaker emoji here i'd use it. |
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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%) |
The Plan (reply) |
Posted by: jayrex
Date Posted: Today, 3:45pm |
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Thanks Kirsten for giving my script a read.
This was my effort for the March madness competition. Unedited. Not sure if I'll fix this one.
If you have anything you'd like me to check out, please let me know. |
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(By the way, wasn't "H20" Halloween Twenty Years Later a direct sequel to the original 1978 Halloween?)
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H20 was a sequel to 1981's 'Halloween 2'. Confusing as Hell, I know.
~Zack~ |
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Dave and Paul, how's it going?
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Thanks for asking.
Paul's "interesting" and "challenging" are kind terms  .
I just submitted mine. I am crammed tomorrow so really out of time. It's now or never (Elvis).
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Sounds good. Let's hope everyone follows the rules this time around!
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Stop already |
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It's going. It's been a real interesting exercise this week. Without going into too much detail, with so many parameters settled, it's been difficult to connect in a personal way to my script. Not a lot of creative choices left to the writer. Not complaining, mind you. Just saying, it's been a challenging week. But, then, I suppose that was the point! Last round isn't supposed to be easy. |
Seems like it'd simulate being called in to rescue a script that had gone off the rails in development. Possibly a sequel and/or a meddling producer so there are lots of constraints.
"He wants this scene to be happier."
"It's an execution."
"Just make it happen.&...
Click here to read more ... |
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It must have been impossible to trademark/copyright the title, since this will be the fourth feature film named Halloween.
If there's a sequel, it would be the third Halloween II.
(By the way, wasn't "H20" Halloween Twenty Years Later a direct sequel to the original 1978 Halloween?) |
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It's going.
It's been a real interesting exercise this week. Without going into too much detail, with so many parameters settled, it's been difficult to connect in a personal way to my script. Not a lot of creative choices left to the writer.
Not complaining, mind you. Just saying, it's been a challenging week.
But, then, I suppose that was the point! Last round isn't supposed to be easy. |
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Plan B (reply) |
Posted by: HyperMatt
Date Posted: Today, 11:23am |
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If you are making this yourself and this is not a spec, I guess that is different.
Good luck |
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Retired (reply) |
Posted by: Kirsten
Date Posted: Today, 6:34am |
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Hi Warren,
This is a cool concept, the way it's told is very clever. All ties together well. Well written, good structure. I read it twice, because it did confuse me the first time, but thats my fault for not paying enough attention.
I wonder about the scene in the bathroom where she grabs LAWSON'S head. To me it seems like she would have to be very strong to kill him with three whacks to the tiling. And she has a head injury, so she might not be feeling so great? Would it seem more realistic to have her use a weapon, like in the first scene. Such as the letter opener stabbed into his neck. A quick, less risky for her, death. he could have easily over powered her, especially if he is big. Which we don't know?
Good sto...
Click here to read more ... |
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Forgot to mention, not a big fan of the title. I think it's the word "lollypop". It confuses the connotations.
Just my opinion, though. |
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I'm glad you found it useful. It was a while ago i read this but i still remember it. I especially remember the "tone" which i think is it's greatest selling point.
I see what you mean about Sarah's reasons for freeing them but i didn't get a clear defined sense of reasoning. When she has that recision to make, the audience should be convinced as well. Is she lonely? maybe, but she already acquired a travel companion. Do they have something she wants? will they improve her chances of survival and how?
The reasons you gave were internal reasons but seeing how they just met i think an external reason would be stronger.
In breaking bad, Jesse and Hal from "Malcolm in the middle" have to go on the journey t...
Click here to read more ... |
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Hey Sam.
Sorry it took me so long to reply, and thank you for the feedback. It's really appreciated. I definately do need to describe the characters more, now that I think about it. Why did they free Nathan and Seka? I think Sarah wanted to for various reasons. Firstly, she feels like she got Seka into this trouble, and secondly, because Nathan doesn't deserve to be in the cage. It's part of her (reluctantly) accepting that she could use help. Could use friends, or apocalypse support anyway.
Thankyou for the nice feedback though, it's greatly appreciated! |
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Hey guys,
It's been awhile.
Anyone else excited about the new Halloween? I am. Pretty much love everything about this project, aside from one thing. The title, which is apparently just 'Halloween'.
This is misleading. If it's a remake, then the title is fine. But this is supposed to be a sequel to the original 1978 film. If you don't wanna call it 'Halloween 2', that's fine, but give it a subtitle. Call it 'Halloween Returns' or something like that.
Rant over.
Besides that, I'm all in for this movie. Really can't wait to hear Carpenters new score! The trailer should be dropping any day now. Is anyone else pumped for this, or am I just fanboying here?
~Zack~ |
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I like the expanded version, but we still don't see the Frecklebug's purpose. Is it gathering some kind of energy from kids to power Some Necessary Thing, or maybe just defending her against bad dreams and it gets hungry while there, or something else entirely?
When something Mysterious is revealed at the very end of a story without any explanation of its purpose of what happens next, it just leaves a sinister vibe, and I don't think that was the effect you intended. |
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Dave and Paul, how's it going?
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Re the 'decision' to bring another child into the world:
We don't know this was planned.
Actually, I thought she was pregnant before the other little one died.
Then there's contraception availability in the time of an alien invasion.  It would have been boring and silly to listen to them having a family planning conversation under the waterfall.
You can pick any movie apart re logic etc. And the good ones are few and far between for me at the mo'.
Sometimes you've gotta just go with it, and sit back and enjoy the ride. |
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Col,
All good. There’s a lot of one pagers on this week’s list, so I’m going to attempt one myself. I’ll use it an exercise to tightening up my sentences.
I read your “Tricks, Lie & Bankhanders”. It was really good. “Rid of Guilt” will be next.
Take care,
Daniel |
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Reaper... we all have our opinions but...
1) It has less jump scares than the standard Blumhouse, i.e. current mainstream horror. Instead it builds tension and makes you feel for the characters and their situation.
2) The movie kills a sympathetic child character in the opening sequence, has very little dialogue and a limited location in which the action unfolds... I don't think any of those are playing it safe in normal Hollywood terms.
3) The military may be fighting back somewhere, but not here, the movie doesn't explain where the monsters came from or what's going on elsewhere in the world... but we do know there are other survivors.
4) Three in the area is a point I think intentionally made in the f |
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But but horrisacal sounds amazing. Horror musical about zombie vampire gay star trek who burst into song randomly doesn't float your boat??
Dan |
Take out the zombie bit, and we might be able to get a Phantom of the Space Opera thing going here. |
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Definitely interested, and hoping the parameters work out to be something I can actually write. (So, please Dan not a horror musical.)
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But but horrisacal sounds amazing. Horror musical about zombie vampire gay star trek who burst into song randomly doesn't float your boat??
Dan |
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Reaper... we all have our opinions but...
1) It has less jump scares than the standard Blumhouse, i.e. current mainstream horror. Instead it builds tension and makes you feel for the characters and their situation.
2) The movie kills a sympathetic child character in the opening sequence, has very little dialogue and a limited location in which the action unfolds... I don't think any of those are playing it safe in normal Hollywood terms.
3) The military may be fighting back somewhere, but not here, the movie doesn't explain where the monsters came from or what's going on elsewhere in the world... but we do know there are other survivors.
4) Three in the area is a point I think intentionally made in the film so that the end f...
Click here to read more ... |
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WARNING! Spoilers!
-If the monsters' weakness is the screechy noise from the hearing aid, are we really expected to think the military wouldn't immediately exploit the hell out of it?
-Hearing aids don't work as portrayed in the film at all. This is less suspension of disbelief and more about the writer completely misunderstanding or being willfully ignorant about how those things work. If you know a deaf person, it completely takes you out of the film. |
Well, first of all, you have to understand that these 2 comments are actually in error, as there aren't any hearing aids in the entire movie.
From IMDB - "The device Reagan wears is not a hearing aid, ...
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Hi Duncan,
Thanks for your comments, I'm glad you liked it  |
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Daniel
One of your questions surprised me. "Where did they get their weapons from? |
- I think my confusion comes from the scene where the Clown looks through the files. Originally, I thought he had seen a list of his fellow violinists that were marked for capture and imprisonment. These are the people he called on the phone in order to give them a heads up who then collaborated to ambush the German soldiers. Hence, I wondered how they would've procured their weapons.
Reading over it again, and given the year its set, I'm thinking he is perhaps seeing the initial plans for the holocaust? He then calls the Jewish resistance and they carry out the ambush?
I dunno, I'm just speculating, it'...
Click here to read more ... |
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WARNING! Spoilers!
I generally liked it, but it wasn't without its issues for me.
Pros:
-Quite well made, with good performances all-round.
-Good visuals.
-Thrilling sequences.
-Relatable characters who make mistakes and cower, but are also resourceful and commit heroic deeds in equal measure. All of the characters in the film are good, and all of them are very well-portrayed.
-Intriguing enough backbone for the story. Unfortunately, that's also where the cons begin.
Cons:
-Cheap jump scares.
-Movie plays it too safe. It offers absolutely nothing new besides the (relative) lack of verbal communication, and even that idea is undermined by the fact that there's still constant di |
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