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Search Results - Recent posts as of less than a minute ago
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Showing 1 - 30 (11187 results found)
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Black List Table Reads Over??   (reply) Posted by: leitskev
Date Posted: 27 minutes ago
I can be short. Ask any gal I've...never mind.
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Black List Table Reads Over??   (reply) Posted by: SimplyScripts
Date Posted: Today, 7:48pm

Quoted from Cam Gray
Hi Don,

Cheers mate. I'd never even thought of the legal requirements, dim as I am with the licensing side of things.

I've just stuck up a message on the facebook page Kevin added me to, so hopefully I'll get some interest off some of the acting community and then I can take it forward and find that script to use.

Fingers crossed!

Cam


Can we also post something here, too? I'd like to give SS'ers a shot, too.  

This may be a good opportunity to test out the new SimplyScripts NewsletterTM...

Can I have the link to the Facebook group?

Re: Long post, yes, Kevin.  I lol'd.  At least Cam knows how to use the shift key...

...

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Unmasking Stella   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 7:26pm
No problem - best of luck
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Unmasking Stella   (reply) Posted by: Fausto
Date Posted: Today, 7:21pm
Thank you Eldave. The dialogue came out "dry" because Anthony was intellectually very limited and Stella had only one objective: have sex with Anthony. In essence, they had nothing substantial to say to each other. At least, this was my intent with the dialogue. Thanks again for your analysis and suggestions.
Best,
Fausto
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Dirt Wolf   (reply) Posted by: RichardR
Date Posted: Today, 7:12pm
Some notes.

I find this one lacking in set up.  Most of what goes on in the beginning has little bearing on how this one ends.  The guy doesn't need to be an attorney since that doesn't matter, and none of the others come into play.  You might consider some kind of setup--these woods are haunted, three people died  here last year, four people disappeared, etc.  Otherwise, it a random demon on the prowl.  In the movie PREDATOR, the predator returns on a regular schedule, and they locals know it.  While the outsiders don't believe, it's still true.  

Best
Richard
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Claw and His Madness   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 7:07pm
David - some of the dialogue is interesting - but you need to tidy this up. Right out of the gate:


Quoted Text
The found of footsteps on a stone floor.


Sound


Quoted Text
At a table - Claws father and one of his brothers. The
other brother pours himself wine at a sideboard. This is
AUKE (26). Their father stops laughing.


One of his brothers is an unfilmable - handle this in dialogue somewhere.


Quoted Text
FLASHBACK, EIGHT YEARS AGO. EXT. AT A RIVERSIDE - DAY

Younger Claw sitting on a grass covered riverbank. In the
background, a forest. Claw looks at his feet


Not really the right format. Maybe something like:

FLASHBACK - AT A RIVERSIDE - DAY

Younger Claw si...

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Students filming as practice?   (reply) Posted by: JonnyBoy
Date Posted: Today, 7:04pm

Quoted from Angry Bear
I wouldn't worry too much about them being students. You might be surprised at what they can do.

I had a bit of a betting war going on with Two Psychos. I ended up giving permission to film it to a filmmaker in Georgia (the country). I gave a student permission to film it as her project for some media class. I told her she was welcome to use it, but she could not show it to anyone outside of her school since the guy in Georgia had big plans for his film. Well, as it turned out, her version was great and it won the local film festival. She was dying to enter it to other film festival because it came out great, but because I'd told her she could not do that, nor post it online (I can't even show it to my friends. It's under p
...

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Wrong Number   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 6:59pm
In addition to Warren's comments:

Hard to find the reasonable basis for the maid to shoot two people. This:


Quoted Text
GARRETT
Good...its a damn shame really.
Now I want you to open the window,
and throw both of the bodies out
into the swimming pool.


Makes no sense other than the set-up for the twist. A maid is going to pick up two bodies and throw them in the pool. I would use something more realistic - e.g, okay, lock the house and wait by the pool.
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Students filming as practice?   (reply) Posted by: Angry Bear
Date Posted: Today, 6:58pm
I wouldn't worry too much about them being students. You might be surprised at what they can do.

I had a bit of a betting war going on with Two Psychos. I ended up giving permission to film it to a filmmaker in Georgia (the country). I gave a student permission to film it as her project for some media class. I told her she was welcome to use it, but she could not show it to anyone outside of her school since the guy in Georgia had big plans for his film. Well, as it turned out, her version was great and it won the local film festival. She was dying to enter it to other film festival because it came out great, but because I'd told her she could not do that, nor post it online (I can't even show it to my friends. It's under protection ...

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1 (100.00%)
Black List Table Reads Over??   (reply) Posted by: leitskev
Date Posted: Today, 6:48pm
Cam, your message was Oh My God long! lol I bet Don never thought it would be ME to say that to someone else!

I left yours up, and added a new one. A much shorter one. We'll see if any responses.

I guess there is no longer a way to message the group. That's too bad.

But one thing you can do is create an event and invite people. So if you had a date you were looking to do this.

I used to do these things for my bar, but facebook always changes the functions.
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Unmasking Stella   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 6:48pm
Fausto:

Into Stella here:


Quoted Text
A couple of stools away, a very attractive BRUNETTE in her
mid-20s looks at him with an inviting glance. She has no
drinks in front of her.


i.e.,

A couple of stools away, STELLA (20s) very attractive brunette...


Quoted Text
THE WOMAN
(friendly)
I'm STELLA. Nice meeting you.
ANTHONY
Stella eh, you've a beautiful name.
STELLA
Thanks, it's Italian for STAR.
ANTHONY
Are you Italian?
STELLA
My parents are...I was born in
BROOKLYN.


Why are you CAPPING Stella, Star and Brooklyn in the dialogue?

I think you are really overusing ... in your dialogue. It's disruptive.


Quoted Text
ANTHONY
Uhm...they are ro
...

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Students filming as practice?   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 6:38pm
I had a similar situation. Pretty much used the same terms you are proposing.
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Dirt Wolf   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 6:32pm
You're welcome - best of luck
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Students filming as practice? Posted by: JonnyBoy
Date Posted: Today, 6:16pm
Hi all,

Very long time no see - hope everyone's well!

I thought I'd post out of the blue as I'm looking for a bit of advice. I got an email today from a high school student, asking to shoot one of my unproduced shorts, The Marry (http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1320456538/), to help them practice filmmaking. Here's the email, with personal info redacted:

My name is [X]. I'm about to go into my last year of high school here in [X], and I've been looking for opportunities to film short movies. Your script 'The Marry' seemed perfect after hours of searching for short scripts focused on actors around my age. I was wondering if I could use your script to gain experience and to learn f
...

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Dirt Wolf   (reply) Posted by: Chase
Date Posted: Today, 6:03pm
Thanks Dave. I got rid of the trial stuff and added battery percentages for a better feel.

I still stand behind this visually but I'll see how it turns out.
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1 (100.00%)
Unmasking Stella   (reply) Posted by: Fausto
Date Posted: Today, 5:58pm
Warren, I am very grateful to you for your corrections. I will be more careful in the future. The reason why I inserted so many ellipses was to indicate a pause in the dialogue or indecisions in the flow of the dialogue etc. Clearly, I have exaggerated. I'll try to improve in future shorts.
Thanks gain.
Fausto
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Fallen Warrior   (reply) Posted by: RichardR
Date Posted: Today, 5:38pm
Some notes.

The others have addressed the typos and grammar problems.  For me, there's not enough setup for the payoff.  First, I've never seen anyone on burial detail who was armed.  They sometimes give 21 gun salutes, but those are blanks.  No hand guns.  And the ending is too easy to guess.  

you might try the opposite approach.  Mike is dressed in his old uniform.  He shakes hands.  He gives the soldier a drink.  He asks questions about his son's last mission.  He's totally cooperative--until he's not.  Mike pulls a pistol and forces Stephen to watch the fake beheading.  Stephen disarms the old ...

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1 (100.00%)
Black List Table Reads Over??   (reply) Posted by: Cam Gray
Date Posted: Today, 4:48pm
Hi Don,

Cheers mate. I'd never even thought of the legal requirements, dim as I am with the licensing side of things.

I've just stuck up a message on the facebook page Kevin added me to, so hopefully I'll get some interest off some of the acting community and then I can take it forward and find that script to use.

Fingers crossed!

Cam
Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
Unmasking Stella   (reply) Posted by: Warren
Date Posted: Today, 4:33pm

Quoted Text
ANTHONY
Uhm...they are romantic.
STELLA
Are you a romantic man?
ANTHONY
...Uhm...yes, I guess...I watch all
the soaps on TV.
STELLA
Real romantic...do you find them
sexy?...I mean, the Italian women.


Every time you use an ellipsis there should be a space after it. Also, do you understand the purpose of an ellipse? It is generally used to indicate a thought that trails off. Try to hear this conversation with all of these ellipses. These people would be talking as if they were a bit slow, as in mentally slow. It's very unnatural.

I forgot to mention this the last time but how does the job sound interesting or exciting in any way?


Quoted Text
ANTHONY
I bring messages to his business<
...

Click here to read more ...
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1 (100.00%)
New Life   (reply) Posted by: Steven
Date Posted: Today, 4:14pm

Quoted from eldave1
I found the premise very interesting. Really like some of the small quirky stuff like the different eye colors. I did have a couple of nitty issues:



I think should be:

EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET - NIGHT

Robert walks down a street that is lined with cars parked
against the sidewalk.

SUPERIMPOSE: SIX MONTHS LATER

i.e, you have to be Superimposing over something - hence, putting a little description before the SUPER.

I liked the style for the most part other than one not issue. You use an opening "The" or There" in a lot of spots where they aren't really needed. Examples:



Why not just:

A MAN at the front door welcomes people as they enter.
...

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1 (100.00%)
New Life   (reply) Posted by: Steven
Date Posted: Today, 4:13pm

Quoted from Cam Gray
Hey Steven,

Interesting little one this. I see you mentioning feature in your reply above, and I guess that's what I was feeling reading it.

There's some good stuff in there, but a lot more exposition is probably needed to really explain it to the full. I like the idea about the eye colour being a factor of survival, that was a random quirk, and even though he's a seemingly minor character, I liked Russell.

You've got quite a "choppy" writing style (hope that makes sense). This normally throws me off, but it didn't bother me here, so I guess that's a good thing as it didn't detract from the overall work as I feared it would when I first started reading.

My only little niggle would be Rob
...

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1 (100.00%)
Dirt Wolf   (reply) Posted by: Warren
Date Posted: Today, 3:56pm
Yeah PM me the link when it's done, I'll take a look.
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Black List Table Reads Over??   (reply) Posted by: SimplyScripts
Date Posted: Today, 3:53pm

Quoted from Cam Gray


Haha, that's the passion we need right there Don! Sweet as, right I'll start to figure it all out then.

Any idea of a script or anyone who'd be up for lending one?


Cam,

Either pick a script you like and reach out to the author and/or post a topic "Looking For A Short Script to Audio Produce".

Something like, I would like to audio produce your short script and release it under a Creative Commons 4.0 license  https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/  on SimplyScripts

Writer still retains all rights to the work and is only giving permission to distribute the audio work only under an attribution, non-commercial, no derivative license which...

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Word-Hits
1 (100.00%)
10 - Produced!   (reply) Posted by: SimplyScripts
Date Posted: Today, 3:19pm
The Trailer:


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Writer schizophrenia   (reply) Posted by: James McClung
Date Posted: Today, 2:12pm
Just to clarify, I understood "mixing names, scenarios, intent and interaction" to mean losing track of which elements belong in which scripts whilst working on multiple projects. That is to say you could be writing a character in one script but thinking about a completely different character in another script and thereby confusing the personalities of the two, or find yourself in a situation where you know who the character is but have lost track of the plot and are not sure how they should act. In short, everything gets fragmented and mixed together. That's a serious problem to have if that's how you meant it, but I might have misunderstood completely.

If it's a simple matter of riffing off elements of multiple scripts an...

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1 (100.00%)
Dirt Wolf   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 1:57pm
Hey, Chase:


Quoted Text
EXT.WOODS - DAY


You need a space between "EXT." and WOODS - you have this issue in each scene heading.


Quoted Text
Allen takes of the mans mask. He then immediately gabs his


typos - should be man's and should be grabs


Quoted Text
OPERATOR (V.O.)
Yes Fast-Paintball in warren
county. Were receiving the
coordinates from your phone-- Im


Typo - should be Warren County


Quoted Text
OPERATOR (V.O.)
In the mean time can you describe
his wound sir?


Comma needed before sir. - This is a problem throughout


Quoted Text
ALLEN
It was a company trip. I work for
Euler Petroleum and it was just a
company trip. I have a tria
...

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1 (100.00%)
Writer schizophrenia   (reply) Posted by: leitskev
Date Posted: Today, 1:28pm
ALL great writers borrow liberally from the characters of other great writers. And they also borrow from characters they themselves used in the past. It's not a problem.

The only problem is if you lean too heavily on any of these borrowed characters. So keep trying to expand your range of characters. Read other books and lit, watch movies, observe people.

The fact that you are being productive is a good sign. Keep trying to expand your character range and seeing the world through their eyes. You're off to a promising start!
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1 (100.00%)
The Hemp Farm   (reply) Posted by: LuisAnthony
Date Posted: Today, 1:01pm
I agree with the two guys above, screenwriting isn't the place to experiment when it comes to formatting, you either have to get it right or it's not considered a screenplay.

I would also suggest to give us a logline. Scripts without one don't get as many reads.
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Love Bites - Filmed!   (reply) Posted by: Steven
Date Posted: Today, 11:10am

Quoted from eldave1


Guess it is the nature of the beast. For what it is worth, I thought the changes were poor - focusing on her paleness was (a) a bit weird - you'd call a doctor not a friend, and (b) was a poor attempt at an unnecessary foreshadowing.

Oh well, it is the price we pay turning our stuff over to others


This is true. I wrote this on a whim one afternoon and someone over at Reddit /r/producemyscript contacted me. So I went with it. I think my screenplay was decent enough, with some kind of-natural sounding exchanges between Jacob and Ammon...I think I've gotten better since then.


This was my fault, I think. I mentioned to the director that I had an idea of Sherri stating she was attacked (sc...

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Love Bites - Filmed!   (reply) Posted by: eldave1
Date Posted: Today, 11:04am

Quoted from Steven
Thanks, I'm not too keen on the final product as so much of my dialogue was changed. I can understand locations, vehicles, etc being changed for something more practical, but when little pieces of dialogue or setups are changed for really no reason, I don't understand.




Guess it is the nature of the beast. For what it is worth, I thought the changes were poor - focusing on her paleness was (a) a bit weird - you'd call a doctor not a friend, and (b) was a poor attempt at an unnecessary foreshadowing.

Oh well, it is the price we pay turning our stuff over to others
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