Good title and logline…
Read to page 45 and then checked out the ending…
As an adolescent "real life" SF (like Maze Runner etc.) it felt too linear and monotonous to me.
As an animation movie for smaller kids it'd work well imo. I could imagine this as a "Manga-style" animation flick, feel good/friendship topics, easy to get relationships and conflicts, bound with some action.
I didn't truly understand why you gave so much words to the characters' physical appearance but then left out so much visual desriptions in case of the colony world, this strange VR simulator, hotel, waterpark etc etc.
You left a lot to my imagination there but because of the pleasantly short-kept and quick, bantering dialogue, it was really easy to continue to read and follow the plot.
All in all this is a well-minded harmony flick that could have its place out there.
Good protagonist. Plot might be a little too simple and linear, a little mystery and twist could help at some points.
Whatever, it does work.