All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
I want to thank those that read and commented. Some notes from my script: I submitted a title that was supposed to tie in with the end, Eternal Grant. I guess we can't do titles though.
Funny thing is, my favorite part of this story was the end, which was everyone's least favorite. I wanted to insert real history in this. Ullyses is obviously future Civil War general and President Grant. His name was in fact Hiram, but there was a type o at West Point, and his middle name became his name.
Grant married Julia, debuttante from St Louis in Aug 1848. He returned from the Mexican war some time in the preceding months. Julia's father was a Colonel who did not approve the marriage. It's conceivable Grant stopped in New Orleans on his way to St Louis. He was a notorious drinker, so he probably did, if he went by sea.
William was a slave of Julia's family who came to be owned by Grant. Though Grant desperately needed the money, he freed William.
People asked me why Willy didn't do more, why his loyalty was described. Willy is protective of Julia. A slave, but a friend. When he finds Grant, and explains they are meeting De Silvestre, the bar tender knows what's going on and alerts Grant. I couldn't fit that in though.
Hancock is the famous general Hancock of the Civil War.
Finally, I want to touch on the gay thing, since it was addressed above. Grace is NOT a lesbian. She is a woman who has had a full plate of men, and is curious, hungry. Her insatiable sexual appetite refuses to limited to one gender.
Silvestre is also a heterosexual. But after a hundred years, stimulation requires bolder and bolder efforts, so she is bisexual by now.
There was no effort to inject any commentary on gay or lesbian issues. Didn't even consider it.
I knew going into this I had better write well, or everyone would know who was who. Not only did I not manage to remove my clumsiness, once I read Ryan's I knew it was just too smoothly written for people not to know. Hopefully by the time of the next OWC I will make it harder to tell! Thanks everyone, congrats Ryan.
Read C. Not sure what to say about the ending yet. But I will say the dialogue was exceptionally well done. And I want to note that in the 1840s no one had ever seen a virus yet. Just change that word to disease or infection. They didn't really understand infection either, but enough to use the word.
There was no New Orleans, and no cemetery. Actually, no debutante either. This is a plantation daughter, which is not quite the same.
Great job with the dialogue, wish I could do that!
Good challenge. Once I read how ambitious Kevin's story was, I knew a lot of people would like it. Knew this one would be close. Yeah, mine was just a simple little tale with dark comedy. Nothing more. When I read that freaking logline, I just had this ridiculous image of two goofy debutantes in gowns wandering around a graveyard. Had to go with comedy.
Finished D. Generally a good tale, and another one where the dialogue is very good, very natural, very believable. Damn, you guys are talented.
I am not sure I bought the ending, though I like the attempt, and definitely respect it for a day's work. I don't think Anna would stab herself in the foot with a shovel just to prove the ghosts wrong. And I don't think it would lead to her falling death. But I really like the idea of the ghosts tricking her into death. Perhaps another trick would be more believable.
This story certainly would have been worthy of votes. Nice job!
I'll reluctantly throw my hat into the mix if no one else is already up.
Ryan is a formidable challenge and a great writer, but I'll take his ass down if you'd all like. Just fuckin' around, stirring' the old pot, obviously.
If so, I'd have to be able to do this starting sometime tomorrow.
Vote for A or B
Pages: 
Author
Showdown #5 Ryan vs Kevin
Where do I look?
Logged
Locked Board