Ok! This is the Short script of the day so I just thought I'd give it a read but it's 108 pages without a fade out so I don't know what happened there. The logline makes no sense to me. "The problem is he can only get the gifts on Black Friday, while he is supposed to be at working on that very day." What?

I read all the comments on here just for laughs, but I didn't seem to laugh very much I don't want to start an argument so I'll shut up.

Oh my! Mistake in the first sentence. "We see a shot of a small duplex." We aren't in the movie. I made the same mistake on  my first script but learnt from it very fast so don't fret. I also don't understand why some of your action is in italics, why not just leave it like it is?

Oh my, again! I can't get past the second page. How old are the characters! I don't even know which ones are which. You didn't bother to describe them except tell us that Mel is the uncle, but that makes no sense at all cause if this were a movie, how would I know that he is their uncle.

This needs some serious work, some producers would've stopped reading by the first paragraph. I would bother to read more if you existed on the boards but you don't! Sorry if I came off harsh.

Mohammad

I agree with Mohammad and most other comments.  I read through ( And by no means am I a pro, just learning as I go) the first couple scenes. Not gonna keep stating other people facts.

What I noticed is that some of your dialog can be shorter.

EXAMPLE:
PG 4
MEL
Come on you can tell me what’s
wrong with you?

Just leave it at:
Come on you can tell me what’s
Wrong?

OR JUST
Come on, tell me whats wrong?

PG 3
Ever since your mom has let me move in you
guys been "A" OK in my book but

Just leave it at:
Ever since your mom let me move in you
guys been "A" OK in my book but

PG 3
I’m going to see if your mom needs
me to do anything before I lay down
too.
PUT: GONNA instead of GOING.

There were a lot more that could use work. Try and read (OUT LOUD) your dialog like your the actor. If you sound like a ROBOT you need to fix your lines.
Hope this helps