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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Like It Was Yesterday Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: February 10th, 2008, 3:19pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Like It Was Yesterday by Nancy Jarzynko - Drama - The coal mining town of Ashland, Pennsylvania, is dying, and the only thing left of the glory are the memories of a gang of seniors living out their last days at the Blue Mountain Nursing Home. When their past is threatened to be lost forever, the seniors take juvenile delinquent Nomie under their wing, sharing their town's history with her and giving her hope for a future.108 pages - fdr, format


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bryan00009
Posted: February 13th, 2008, 9:27pm Report to Moderator
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-- Get rid of all those (CONTINUED)s please.  You don't need them.
-- The story:  It's hard not to see this as a simplistic and sentimental homage to a bygone way of (happy, prosperous coal-mining?) life.  If this really is a coming-of-age fable about a young person finding their place in this world, then you should try to make her a little more sophisticated and sympathetic than just some party girl who only wants to get high and do petty crimes.  


"It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with.  I found it flat and trite..."  Sunset Boulevard (1950).
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