Miss He by Brooke Em - Drama, Romance - GEMMA can alternate her appearance from male to female;  looking both glamorous. As Julian; she is handsome. But a real man named NICK wants to date her.. will he find the truth on her altering ability??? 87 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice

First of all, it would be nice to redo the script into a standard format. It's pretty hard to read it in the way you wrote it. Tho I got the point, I like the metaphor. I like your message. You're telling the story in a simple language, it's easy to understand. And I, a guy who never struggled with that issue, felt what's it like to be in Gemma shoes. I hope people like Nick will get that too after reading.

SPOILERS!

I think the characters overreact, feels like you did it in purpose  for the better drama. The situations are pretty naive too. Brandy is the only character who looks natural in this story - and she's my favorite btw - as for Nick, Gemma and her father, they're overpushing.

Also it was a surprise for me that this story turns into a legal movie! lol I really didn't expect that development. And yes, the jury decision was quite horrible! I'm not a lawyer, but I guess the jury sympathy should be on her side. The whole allegation thing doesn't seem adequate to me, tho maybe it's a parallel universe and that city of Nixton is kinda dystopia with its own laws and morality?!

There's also lack of Julian's character. He appears several times, and it seems only to give Gemma a hard time! Yes, he "saves" Brandy and Gemma at the end, but his true nature remains a mystery! Besides, it seems that Gemma never accepted him. I really hoped that the "prince charming" which Gemma is dreaming about was Julian, but looks like he's only for a "miraculous salvation" in the end and nothing more.

About the salvation... well it's actually sad. I can't see anything good for those two poor people. There's no catharsis in your ending. I usually hate happy endings but for your characters, I demend it! They deserve happiness, and I truly have no idea why you so cruel to them! lol I mean, you're kinda trying to say that people like Gemma have no place in this world, there's no even a slight hope for them that once the world will accept them, so they're doomed to be runaways forever! It's really sad, even depressive, don't you think?  

However it was fun read. Hope Gemma and her mother will be alright! Give humanity a chance, please! ^_^