Wade - my impressions from the first few pages.
1. Your dialogue is crazy good. Solid. Just lose the annoying bold words you occasionally throw in. Once in a while is fine - but four on the first two pages - no - let the actors figure out the emphasis. And - the dialogue is great. No need to add the bold.
2. The descriptions are way over-written and in some cases poorly formatted.
EXT. PORCH TERRACE -- DAY (2016)
We see the peaceful, picturesque mountains of Piedmont, West
Virgina in late afternoon. MADDIE WOLFORD, a 26-year-old
white woman, sits in a rocking chair and rests her bare feet
on the top porch rail overlooking a Potomac River sunset.
All kinds of problems here. Don't put a year in the scene heading - there is no way to shoot that. If the year is important, put it in a SUPER. If it isn't important, ignore it.
Lose the "we sees". It's a bad habit to start.
Don't tell us it's late afternoon - describe it so we know it.
I wouldn't start with a porch scene heading and then start with the mountains. If you wanted to start that way - could have EXT. MOUNTAINS
Anyway - could go with something like:
EXT. PORCH TERRACE - DAY
MADDIE WOLFORD (26), sits in a rocking chair resting her bare feet
on the top porch rail as she watches the sun set in the far off mountains.
SUPER: PIEDMONT, WEST VIRGINIA - 2016.
And then go on from there.
Her beauty is at once uncomplicated and unquestionable.
Not sure I know what that means. Country pretty? Like, natural with no make-up?
The songs are going to be problematic from a license perspective and may throw some off. But to me - they just changed to fast - three of them in the span of a minute of screen time. That's pretty chaotic.
The unmistakably spooky, afro-funk intro to Peter Gabriel's
"Shock the Monkey" begins playing. Maddie calmly exhales a
plume of smoke and takes a sip from a beer bottle on the
stand beside her before speaking.
Again - over written. All you need is:
Maggie exhales a plume of smoke, takes a sip of beer.
Thorne, baby, are you in the mood....
Anyway - I think you have talent - the dialogue is fascinating. But the description and format issues are going to kill you. They are more novel like than script like. Take a look at a few for comparison purposes.
Best of luck