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Love horror films. I will read and review anything you give me in exchange for a read and review on mine.
Title: Snake Bite (working title) Link: http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/SnakeBite-Castillo.pdf Log line: A young man films himself and his day-to-day lifestyle as part of a online video journal, but things take a harsh turn when he begins to notice a recurring supernatural phenomenon in his footage after a distant relative suddenly moves into his home. Genre: Found Footage, Horror, Supernatural Horror. Page count: 98
Logline: Itís been sixteen years since Jesse was taken away from his abusive, alcoholic mother after she had tried to kill him. When he hears of the news that she committed suicide, he returns to his childhood house for preparation to sell it, as well as confront his dark past once and for all. He soon discovers that something evil lurks within the depths of the house, and after all these years, itís been waiting for him to return.
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I have gotten through maybe about 3/4 of the screenplay to Where The Bad Kids Go, and so far it is very interesting. I love how vivid the descriptions are during the action sequences. I can honestly feel Jesse's pain and see all of the torment he went through thus far. I just really like how detailed everything is.
I also thought the whole Jesse and Marco relationship bit was very interesting and bold of you to include. As the reader, I appreciate how Marco isn't just some random dude that pops in and out of the screenplay every now and then. His character has ground in the story.
So far, I say really great job with this. I haven't been able to read as much because I have been so busy with full time job and part time job on side, but I can't wait to finish it, honestly. Just thought I'd get back to you with a response! Great job.
Although I don't enjoy horror scripts, I went through the whole thing.
The obvious pros: impeccable grammar/formatting, amazing action blocks (the couple pages towards the end with the house on fire etc, are simply stunning) I could actually see and feel everything.
Regarding the rest.. As an amateur, I found it difficult going back and forth all the time, the flashbacks etc. Had to go back and check the scene headings a few too many times, envision where I trully was twice or even more times and such, but I guess that's just me. Especially regarding the first 25 pages or so, it was really painful to follow. The other flashbacks (for example the ones at the end) felt easier to follow and more 'fluid' (they didn't need to explain, just to show what I was already speculating--).
The three cons imo: It was not until page 57, that the real nature of Helen's feelings towards her son reveals. I think, it needs to come a lot sooner. I would like a better character buildup for Trent. Is he the Thing? I didn't get it clearly at the end. If i were you, I would ditch some of the Jesse-Marco past/dialogue in the beginning. I got their connection since sentence one, don't need like 10 pages or so.
A trully professional script indeed.
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