Hello, this is my first screenplay and I have written the introduction as I know that this is very important and I want to know if it is a solid start or not. I will give feedback back for similar length projects.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rwEnADK9sw426bvvcva4vz9IZyxFmx9k/view?usp=sharing

Hi Jeff and welcome. I gave this a quick read. From the presentation and format, it’s hard to believe this is your first attempt at a screenplay. I’m not an expert on these things as other are here, but everything so far looks really good. Your story grabbed my interest quickly and then the appearance of the two people in the black sedan  along with Jimmy suddenly waking up in his classroom, left me wanting to see what happens next!  Very good set up. I’ll look forward to reading the finished script if you decide to post it here. Good job so far - thanks for sharing!

Hello

I would probably have ramped up the tension a bit when the officer walks in, at the moment it goes very smooth for them, a good opportunity for some suspense.

Solid writing though.

Based on those first 8 pages, I'd keep reading.


This is the first 10 pages of a supernatural thriller I'm working on if you fancy taking a look
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eDVb8fSuA5TNqIYOD9PdWOe7aazYuNfy/view?usp=share_link

Best of luck

Matt

For a first effort - well done.

LOOK FOR UN-NEEDED WORDS

Quoted Text INT. GAS STATION - NIGHT A quiet and dimly lit gas station, with a single CLERK, an uninterested teenager with a nametag reading "BRAD,", scrolls on his phone behind the counter. The station is empty except for a few lonely customers browsing the aisles. A faint HUM of the refrigerators can be heard.

In the description block, you reference the Station twice when none are needed since Station is already in the header.

You don't need single clerk. We know he's the only one there since you referenced no others

etc.

Cutting the excess out gets you --

INT. GAS STATION - NIGHT

Dim and quiet, other than the faint hum of the refrigerators.

BRAD (1, the clerk, scrolls on his phone behind the counter as a few customers browse the aisles.