Now I know this might not be a film that everyone has seen but I suggest you see it ASAP.  The Slaugherhouse Massacre could quite possibly be the worst movie I have ever seen.  The director of this movie must have thought he was filming a porno for the first 20 mins of the movie because there is so much gratutious nudity that it makes it not even fun to watch anymore.  Now I love nudity and sex scenes in movies just as much as the next person but when you have a 10 min lesbian scene that takes place in the middle of a college party fully nude, (by the way I want to go to this college where ever it is.  I believe its Dallas Community College.) you know this movie is going to be a joke.

Well anyway the movie supposedly is about a butcher that was lynched in a slaughterhouse for a murder he didn't commit 8 years prior.  And fron that point on anyone who steps foot into the slaughterhouse is doomed because the butcher rises from the dead and picks you off.  Fast foward to present day as it clearly subititles on the bottom of the screen, and a bunch of college students decide to go back to the slaughterhouse and pull a prank on their girlfriends.  Typical cast ensamble, the jocks, the girl who thinks that they shouldn't be doing what they are doing, the stoner, I think you can get the point.  The screenwriter and director clearly were ripping off both The Blair Witch Project with its frequent "camera POV shots" and Nightmare on Elm Street with the wisecracking antagonist.  After a severly delayed build up to the actual revelation of the killer it just becomes one big giant mess, if it wasn't already.  Five people enter the slaughterhouse (two women and three guys) and two make it out alive.  The girl who thinks they shouldn't be there and the stoner.  Go figure.

Anyway the truly comical points of this movie are the death scenes.  They are so incredibly bad that you can actually see that they switched a manaquin for the actor so the head can be chopped off.  Pure hilarity.  

Another thing that irked me was that the women in this movie were constantly getting undressed.  If the killer and a female were in the same scene, you can bet your money that she was either naked or taking off a piece of clothing.  For no reason at all.  For example, at the end of the film the girl who had a "bad feeling" has her back to a guillotine that clearly she could fit though.  What does she do?  She strips down to her bra and panties so she can "squeeze" her way through.  Ridiculous.  She wasn't even that attractive either to begin with.    

Anyway I urge anyone with the ability to, to go rent this movie.  It's a good instruction manual on how NOT to make a movie.  Plus it's a good incentive to all us hopeful movie makers show that if this cr** can be put on DVD that anyone can become a movie maker.

* out of ****

P.S. - The only reason I gave it one star was because of the sex scenes at the beginning.  Some pretty raunchy and pretty revealing scenes for a rated R movie.      

What?  Did you get the DVD for Christmas?


Phil

Yes unfortunately it was a Christmas gift.  My dad got it for me for Christmas because he knows how much I like to watch indepedent films.  I actually got a couple.  Another one is called "King of the Lost World" which is a rip off of "King Kong."  I didn't finish the movie however because there was a scene when they were describing the ape and one of the characters asks "What's it's name?"  and the native replies "It is forbidden to speak his name."  I just knew that the reason they wouldn't say it was because of copyright infringement.

I tell you these movies are funny.  Really made my day.        

Quoted from guyjackson Another thing that irked me was that the women in this movie were constantly getting undressed...

I'm not sure I've ever encountered this sentence before, Guy.

And I'm sure I've never used it...

Haha the movie is that bad that it made me say that!

But honestly the girls aren't that good to begin with.  

Except for the two girls in the lesbian scene at the beginning.  But they obviously spent their money well on them because in the end credits their names were like Venus and Serenity, so they were def pornstars or strippers.